this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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Thanks for your perspective, but it doesn't work for me that way.
Yes, I'm trying my best to become a better person tomorrow, but it doesn't come from nowhere. I did a lot of awful stuff, it was me, not someone who's dead right now. It was me all the time.
When I try to rationalize that behavior I always find myself in a loop where I jump from "nope, it was not me, it's my parents' influence" to "I've been rude to my gf today because I haven't had enough sleep". That's a victim mindset and I've been in therapy for far too long to relapse today just because I want to feel good about myself.