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Are we talking about JD Vance the couch fucker?
The sectional predator himself
"I did not have sectional relations with that sofa"
"Sectional" fuckin hell dude 🤣
God damn, couch - that's some hoe shit!
Holy fuck, thank you for that laugh
Again, there is ZERO evidence that JD Vance has reached earth-shattering orgasm in the loving embrace of a two-piece sectional, or that he has had a wild fling or two with wicker outdoor patio furniture. NONE. He certainly has not done so while making disgusting claims about gay people.
I have the evidence that shows it is all true right here.
Evidence
This is probably how furries became popular. People saw that Monty Python skit about the mice men and thought it was funny and started dressing up.
Does JD fuck couches? A lot of people are saying it. The best people. They keep saying it so there must be some truth to it. Just the other day I asked him so you prefer leather, right? It's so smooth. It's durable. It's perfect! He looked me dead in the eye and said, "polyester". It's so rough though! That's why he needs the glove!
i adore that he will live out the rest of his days being known as j.d. the couch fucking mascara muffin man vance
It's not about mocking someone who wears eyeliner, it's about mocking someone who wears eyeliner and pretends they don't.
your cause is noble, but the outrage over mascara man vance bashing is misguided. "punching down" is insulting race, sexuality, gender, disability, and any other thing that no one chooses for themselves*. makeup is 100% a choice, for everyone. in vance's example it's a ridiculous choice, given the requisite strictly defined GOP persona of the "manly man," which obviously doesn't involve men wearing makeup. so vance will be mocked for it.
where's the outrage over making fun of trump's orange spray tan? guliani's hair dye leaking forehead?
and if you're going to bring "gendered insult" into the conversation, then exactly who is arguing under the flawed premise that mascara is just for women, if not the person calling the insult gendered?
don't worry, i make fun of many, many choices people make, from cartoonishly huge pickup trucks, to cargo shorts
*edit: apparently "punching down" is generally defined to mean attacking people 'less powerful' than yourself. i'm still including unchosen circumstances in my usage
I feel like there's only a handful of people in the world who can "punch down" at a US senator currently running for vice president. I don't think any of them are hanging out in Lemmy.
You're a monster. How could you make fun of cargo shorts?
LOL it's not just me. how many women do you know who don't think cargo shorts make us look like clowns?
My mom says they make me look handsome and agrees that it's neat that I can carry all the sticks and rocks we find at the park!
you do you champ!
That's just anger and jealousy because the fashion industry takes all the pockets from women's clothes so that there will be enough for men's cargo shorts. I mean, I get that, and it doesn't seem fair, but I'm not giving up all the pockets.
which is completely justified. women get attacked for not looking perfect 100% of the time, not wearing makeup, not shaving their entire body, AND can't find any clothes that have a single functional pocket. and god forbid a gray hair shows up
meanwhile, i'm applauded for not giving a rat's ass what i look like, shaving zero square inches of any part of my body, and i have the option of clothes with ridiculous numbers of pockets. which IS an option because we don't have to worry about being attacked for not caring what anyone thinks
All true, but the answer isn't getting rid of cargo shorts
no--don't get rid of cargo shorts! i need them for my dudebro cookouts
They stop laughing when I pull an entire Chinese dinner for five out of those cargo shorts. Y'all sneak in your candy to the movies. I'll do it my way.
What we should do is praise them for normalizing makeup for men.
I'm sorry but Couch-fucker McGuy-Liner is way too good not to use.
👀
JD "Nothing finer than a sofa recliner" Vance
More cushion for the pushin!
I’m late to the party. What’s up with all that couch fucking?
There was a made-up rumor that his book has an excerpt about fucking a couch...But the memes have been fire so no one cares that it's false. He's now a couch fucker.
You can build a million bridges, but you fuck one single couch, no one calls you a bridge builder.
Made up is just another way to say republikkklown speak.
I mean we can't prove that he hasn't fucked a couch. If they can believe dumb shit like pizzagate, qanon and the stuff that comes out of Trump's mouth we can keep the couch fucker memes going for the lolz.
Lots of people are saying it, and he has not refuted it. We know it's true.
Ok that’s pretty fucking funny. Has anybody already made R34 of that?
You're welcome to go look, I'm certainly not going to.
That's so gross. Which websites though?
Live action bigmouth confirmed, unfortunately.
He prefers the term Furniture Fondler.
I think he's a natural pairing with Donald Trump, the philanderer. They can bring one girl back home without it getting "weird."
Richard Gere's gerbil approved