this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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Relationship Advice

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I've known Jack for a couple of years. He's kind of a loner but we always got along as we both have some geeky interests. We're both introverts but I'm somewhat more social.

My girlfriend is also an introvert and when I introduced them, years ago, it was awkward at first but they got along pretty well. We hang out occasionally the three of us.

Mostly we talk in a Facebook group, and I talk to him in private messages. A few times, when he went through a family problem, I knew (from my girlfriend) that he vented to her in a private messages. She was happy to help but felt the need to tell me and I was OK with it.

When we do something at my house, I always invite him but he always refuses. The few times he aquiesced was because my girlfriend convinced him. Sometimes he disables all his social media and we loose all contact.

The latest one has been going for a while. I tried to call him multiple times but he never answers. When my girlfriend messages him he answers immediately. We actually tested that when we were together.

Lately he's been sending her messages trying to chit chat and being somewhat insistent. She felt it was very weird, specially after her seeing he never answer my calls. This latest time she actually confronted him about it and point blank asked him if he was mad at me and that it was all very weird.

You know what I'm thinking...but I'd like to know your perspective.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Clearly girlfriend is not having it anymore... He needs to find another shop.

These behavior already crossed inappropriate line and likely this person has no social skills to navigate that.

Also, this person is not OPs friend

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don’t think anything here is clear. It’s virtually impossible to understand a real world scenario from a couple of paragraphs written by a single person. Interpersonal relationships have a shit ton of nuance, and making judgements quickly often burns bridges that had no business being burned.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This latest time she actually confronted him about it and point blank asked him if he was mad at me and that it was all very weird.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

And that itself is very sparse on details. It didn’t say what his response was at all, which could turn the situation any number of ways.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

He said everything was fine and jokingly downplayed it.