this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 232 points 4 months ago (9 children)

Profit doesn't matter if it doesn't make the line go up! It's a failing company because line didn't go up! Tractors aren't the product. Only line is product. All hail line. If we pray to line, perhaps line go up?

[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yes, yes, now: about those executive paychecks. We feel $27M per year isn't competitive. We’re thinking more like 500M. To start.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago

They wouldn't use the word competitive though. They use that word for the lower employees, and its meaning is "we'd pay you lower if we could". Well actually I guess for a few hundred they did just that by going to zero. Nothing can be done though, line is all. The joke at my work is about the company stock price. All praise stock. We don't see anything from it, but it's glorious.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 4 months ago

We ONLY made 10 BILLION in profit!?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JOHNSON!? We made 10 last year! This year is supposed to be 12 billion!

YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

The inner workings of a Totally Sane Business Economy™

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Humanity is not important. Humanity must sacrifice itself for The Line.

The Line will continue to Go Up, whether or not humanity is around to see it. All hail the Line.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Me furiously taking post-apocalyptic worldbuilding notes from your comment 🫨🫨🫨

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The Line will the people, from the Place of Lies to the Land of Plenty. The Line does not deviate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

The Line Lay as The Line Like!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

10 to 15 yrs later: "Line no longer go up! We need bailout!, if no bailout, line go down and politicians fired!"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Yup sadly with how the Crockmarket works a company can fail because the line didn't go up. If it doesn't go up investors will pull out and kill a company but this thinking is bullshit because as soon as a company starts to dip some will sell but others will step in and then the new line is a bit lower but then it can go up without layoffs.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Remember that trope about AI destroying humanity due to mistakenly trying to over-optimize for bent paperclips

Turns out it was actually always about the lines humanity itself could raise along the way

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Line them throats, line them wrists,

For the market share

They'd call us terrorists

We can hardly care.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Let us all gather and pray for the ascension of the demarcation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Me, imitating the pose of a thoughtful looking person I saw in a magazine: have we tried AI the line? Like make AI do the line, and me have more money? Need more money for AI implement line AI money make?