this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2024
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inb4 "Baby, don't hurt me."

But for real...what do people mean when they say "I love you," or "Do you love them?" I'm really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they're using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:

  • I love pancakes.
  • I love my mother.
  • I love my romantic partner.
  • I love my best friend.
  • I love my career.
  • I love going to the beach.
  • My dog loves me.
  • That couple is in love.
  • Where is the love?

Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, "Do you love her?" What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that's her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he's not asking that. What is he asking??

Another specification is when people ask "Do you love them, or are you in love with them?"

I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.

Name of showThe show is Atypical on Netflix.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I think of romantic love as what follows infatuation, if you get there. The continued slow burn of lust, affection and respect for each other.

Friendly love is care, when you would let yourself be hurt to save a specific other person from being hurt, and are willing to be inconvenienced to do things for them, and trust enough to inconvenience them if you need something.

Agape - love, love for the world, is both easier and harder to feel. It's easier to not be annoyed by things and people you don't personally know, but hard to care so much about them. That universal love feeling , the joy of existence and care for the natural world is also love.

So yeah English in this regard just doesn't have (or doesn't use) different words for different types of love but they are different.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I think "The continued slowburn of lust,affection and respect" is highly accurate while 'keepin' it real®'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ancient Greeks had a whole pile of words for love of different kinds.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Philo, eros, agape, and I can’t remember the fourth one.