There's a big bus hub for all our local buses in my city. Well 25 years ago, it also had a payphone out there in the center. Well across the street is a normal bus stop going the other way that only 3 buses pick up at.

So I sat at the small bus stop. And watched until I saw a guy use the payphone. Then he's standing around. Well, I had the phone number to call that payphone in cell phone. And yes, we had cell phones 25 years ago. Mine was a 1 inch puke green original gameboy style screen, and text messaging was still off into the future, but I could still make calls.

So I'd sit at that bus stop across the street and watch. When someone stood close to the payphone I'd call. When someone answered I'd have one of those hear pieces they had before bluetooth existed the single cord, plugged into the headphone jack. It's not noticable from across the street.

So I'd call that phone number, and some random person would answer.

"Hello?"

"Pssshhhh, why are you wearing that stupid Baltimore Oriols hat? You look like a doofus! You need a Cleveland Indians hat!"

"Who is this?"

"Jim Thome" (for anyone who doesn't know, Jim Thome was the power hitting first baseman for the Indians at the time)

"Really?"

"No. hangs up"

But my favorite one was when a guy named "Mel" walked by. I knew he was named Mel because he had a work nametag on as he walked past me. Something about that name made teenage me giggle inside. So he goes over near the phone, waiting for a bus. I call that payphone.

"Hello?"

(In a deep gutteral voice that today would best be described as Christian Bale's batman mixed with Jigsaw. Even though neither of those movies had come out yet)

"Hello Mel. I've been expecting you."

"Who is this?"

"Satan"

Then, he just drops the phone, starts screaming, and starts running for his life, as everyone around him has no idea what is even happening. That was the best. 40 years old now, and I STILL laugh at that mental image of him running under that bridge, and out of my view..........but then still hearing him in the distance slowly fading away for 15 minutes as he ran.

No, I don't have any payphones in my city anymore, and I'm sad. 40 year old me is ABSOLUTELY bored enough to do this shit today if I could.