this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
346 points (96.8% liked)
Bikini Bottom Twitter
3526 readers
292 users here now
Are ya ready kids?!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
listen, dog kibble is like, scientifically engineered and shit to give them a balanced diet full of all the nutrients every dog needs completely
if there were people kibble just like that i'd probably eat it too
and not just because i find puppygirls enthralling >////>;
Bachelor Chow. Now with flavor!
My recipe for bachelor chow:
Cube and pan-fry the spam, then dump it in a bowl with the other ingredients
Needs less salt and way more veggies.
It's a sometimes food
will this have the full nutritional profile my puppygirl needs
Flavor?! Whoa now let's not get carried away XD
Actually if anything they could upcharge for "flavor mods" designed to compliment the kibble...
(They're literally just like the powdered flavoring that comes with ramen though :p)
I dream with a human kibble too. The closest things I've found is Soylent and it's competitors.
I actually have quite enjoyed Soylent!
...
However, it's designed for people with normal metabolisms and digestive systems.
My metabolism is giga fucked forever and I've basically already consumed an entire lifetime's worth of carbohydrates. So carbs make me sick. Joint pain, inflammation, swelling in the extremities of my limbs, fatigue, trouble sleeping... I know it's carbs because these symptoms stop when I stop eating carbohydrates.
They're just really gods damned hard to avoid.
Sorry to hear that! But yeah, I enjoy it too. It took a couple of tries to get used to the soy flavor, but after that, it's great! If I'm too depressed or lazy to feed myself I can just make a glass of sweet vanilla-dlavored dystopian slop and that's it. It's great mixed with fruit and yogurt too.
I make my own. Pasta and rice, some veggies, maybe a bit of protein thrown in. I like it because I can just shovel it into my mouth instead of having to cut or eat it in small bites.
Oh yeah! I've heard there is a really bigg DIY human kibble community too. But if u can barely feel myself, I'n definitely not functional enough to DIY it xD
Pretty sure kibble is shit for their kidneys. Dry food isn't perfect for them obviously. For cats for instance a lot of cat food contains grains, which they shouldn't ever eat. Only the shittiest brands like Whiskas do that though.
It's designed to constipate them as well. You don't want your dog shitting 8 times a day.
Yup. The only dry food that is fine is 100% freeze dried meat / fish, but only as a treat, so again their kidneys don't take a huge hit. Cats usually don't like drinking water itself (they take in water from their killed prey usually) and feeding them anything dry makes them even more susceptible to kidney problems.
what if i just feed my cats soup
Well, obviously they need something of actual substance. But cat soups exist and are actually recommended like 3 times a week or so. I keep adding water to his foodbowl and he eats it up and drinks all the water usually, which is kind of like giving them a soup with meat chunks in it. He also has a seperate bowl for straight up water. One additional benefit from dunking it all in water, is it lasts longer, since wetfood tends to dry out really quickly.
Eh. Dog kibble is engineered to benefit the human. They should be eating a variety of fresh foods. Majority meat, organ, and a calcium source with some fresh vegetables thrown in for vitamins. Kibble is human laziness, capitalist “innovation,” and sacrificing our supposed beloved pets for our own convenience and to save money.