this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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My condolences. I have some people in the family who are furious with my MIL, and I keep having to remind them that it's the disease. I'm probably the most patient with her, but even I struggle to be with her for any length of time without getting angry, even with the knowledge that it's not her.
My step-father is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's, and he's been on medication from the start, which has been a mixed blessing. He's hung on for longer than usual, but just stays on this side of palliative/hospice. It's sad because he's such a drain on my mother. He's much easier to deal with than my un-diagnosed (and refusing to see any doctors) MIL, but my mom says the hardest thing about my step-father is that he's not the man she married, and it's like living with a complete stranger. It's eerily similar to what my wife says about her mother: she says her mom died years ago, and the woman in her body is a stranger.
Personally, after these experiences, I have warned my entire family, and have an agreement with my wife, that if I start to decline in this way, before it gets that bad we're going to take a visit to Switzerland and I'm going to get in a Sarco Pod. No shade on people who don't want to do this, but I neither want to experience it, nor inflict my symptoms on my loved ones.
I'm sorry to hear about the issues with the elders in your family. The one positive thing that came out if it is that I have vowed to not die angry like he did if at all possible and it has made me a much less angry person.