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"Men are bad at picking up on women's hints." What are your actual thoughts on this sentiment? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Either through memes or comments I keep seeing this sentiment pop-up from time to time. And I'm wondering what your (yes, you) consensus is on it.

I for one am too pessimistic to do anything with potential hints. Like even if there is a good chance I still just don't want to risk it.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm an autistic woman, and I've found great success in leaning into my autistic tendencies. By that, I mean just being blunt and upfront. One of my favourites is that if I've got chemistry with someone I don't expect to see again, before I bid them farewell, I'll give them a note with my number on and say something like "I had a great time hanging out with you tonight, would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" And then I hand them my number and scuttle off like a crab because I can only put on a cool face for so long before I crack under the anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Aspie man here, it's harder for us to do that. I have a friend who I gave the standard, "Hi, my name is MapleEngineer and I have Asperger's. That means..." speech to when I thought she was hinting. She said, "Ok, you don't like hints?" "No." "Ok. I've always found you attractive and have fantasized about sucking your cock. We should get together." We did. It was awesome.

Life would be so by easier if the normies didn't muddy the waters so much with their hints and clues.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Oh yeah, it's why I mentioned I'm a woman - it's certainly relevant to my experience here. I don't have to worry about being perceived as threatening - if I flirt with a woman in an upfront way like I described, I never feel like there's a risk of frightening her. Whereas on the flip side, if a guy asks me out, I'm always a bit on edge because of the small minority who are not safe to politely turn down. "Privilege" is definitely the wrong word for this, but being perceived as non threatening does make some things simpler.