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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

In the halls of my middle school, I felt like a ghost, invisible to everyone except the bullies who made my life a living hell. Every day, they taunted me, mocked my appearance, and tripped me in the hallway.

I tried to ignore them, but the constant harassment wore me down. One day, pushed to my limit, I finally snapped. When the ringleader, Jake, shoved me into a locker, I swung back, landing a punch square on Jake's nose.

The satisfaction of retaliation was fleeting as the principal's office became my next destination. Despite explaining his side, I was met with a stern lecture on violence and the consequences of his actions.

But in that moment of defiance, something shifted within me. I realized that standing up for myself didn't have to involve fists. It meant finding the courage to speak out, seeking help from trusted adults, and refusing to let the bullies define him.

That night my dad came into my room and savagely beat with a set of jumper cables for getting in trouble.