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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago

I had a bully that kept walking past my desk and kicking my leg for no good reason when I was 12. I tried to announce loudly to the substitute teacher that day to get him to stop. I know for a fact that the teacher and all the students heard me quite clearly. But the substitute teacher didn't even acknowledge me, nor tried to do anything to stop him.

So, I tried to stand up to the bully myself. As he walked past yet again and kicked my leg again, I swung around behind me as he was passing just behind me. Unfortunately my glasses distorted my view as I tried swinging while looking past the edge of my glasses and I missed.

The dude turned back and punched me in the right eye, breaking my glasses and busting my face. I came close to losing my right eye. I left the class along with him to go to the principal's office, crying and keeping my right eye closed. I was scared that my right eye might have been ruptured. Luckily not though, but it was mighty close.

Anyways, in the long run, the other student was expelled, his parents had to buy me new glasses, and apparently they fired that substitute teacher for not doing a damn thing to prevent the situation when I first announced it.

Long story short, you can't always expect an adult to do the right thing, sometimes shit just happens. If I had it my way, I would have avoided any fight to begin with, but since I was being ignored, I tried to resort to self defense. Didn't work out like I expected, but the dude got what he deserved.

Fuck bullies!