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Daughters and Fathers (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

50 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My wife's father is still peddling that toxic masculinity bullshit on his grandson, saying...to our 1-year-old... To toughen it up.

My wife about lost it on him. Now that was to our son but for our daughter it would be no different and it's a reflection of her childhood.

Being emotionally unattached, uncomfortable with crying, and being incapable saying sorry and admitting you're wrong are simply massive. Kids are kids but they have a keen sense of justice and parents should empower them to stand up for themselves and be proud of them for exposing you as a hypocrite... Not beat them with a belt...

And for goodness sake, play with your kid. She wants to play dolls? Dress you up? Paint your nails? Tea time? By god you do it! If she wants to play with army men (they make army gals, too), go for it!