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And when you say "fountain," you don't mean the dispenser for "fountain drinks," you mean like a chocolate fountain.
Exactly. Right in the middle of the store, a fountain featuring renaissance-style fish spewing Four Loko from their marble mouths.
And a child in a small boat sailing around filling up people's cups.
I think that that might make the ethanol evaporate, as it'll do so more-readily than water.
It seems to me that that would have two effects:
That would presumably cause the ethanol content to drop over time. You'd either have the impact fall off, or need to replenish it. I'd suggest a small Cupid statue urinating pure ethanol into the Four Loko fountain.
If you can evaporate enough of it, maybe you can get enough ethanol vapor going on to get everyone in FlyingSquid's Panera's establishment drunk from breathing. I dunno if fountains would be enough, though. I'm thinking maybe add some of those ultrasonic misters, which would create a mysterious Four Loko fog at ankle level and add to the ambiance.
Don't ruin my dreams.
"Ruin" or "perfect"?
Do you think I want the kids drunk any hyper while I'm at Panera getting drunk and hyper?
You just gotta drink it really fast before too much evaporates.