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Venting/advice: I have coworkers who speak to me like I'm a child (I'm damn near 30) and mask their bullying behind toxic positivity (hexbear.net)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Edit: I’m going to sleep, I’m not ignoring you if it takes like 12 hours for a response.

I can elaborate if you have questions that help clear things up, suffice it to say I’m doing normal ass things and they’ll walk by and pat me on back saying “good job” in the voice one uses when a puppy begs to be let out instead of pissing on the floor.

How the fuck do I go to HR and not sound paranoid/persecution complex” about this? They took it a step further today and the meat department asshole I’ve posted about wanting to duel (damn the consequences) about before slapped my shoulder (I’m not even comfortable with a gentle pat) and said “what a perfectly adequate job you’re doing”. Of course the house trained ….pick a word that I am said “thanks for the compliment”.

I’m going to lose my job after flipping out if I allow them to continue this, yet alone escalating.

Advice?

P.S the people I work with in my department are basically just normies. No better or worse than average American. The deli guy fucking called me little one and I’m still pissed about that because I have a height complex even though Reddit losers have turned into that meaning child and I can’t tell which direction he meant it in.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I agree, I also probably didn't explain my thoughts as clearly as I could have. I was thinking that if you forced them to either let you reframe their comment as, to all intents and purposes and to all spectators, as genuine praise, then the only other option would be to admit it was insincere. Of course yes, this probably means they may, instead of just getting bored, instead just ditch the negging and move on to other forms of bullying.

Also yeh, workplace bullying isn't gotchas and 4d chess. Going through formal channels and raising grievances assertively and appropriately is better, so I'm not wedded to the thought bubble of what I would try first.