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"Men are bad at picking up on women's hints." What are your actual thoughts on this sentiment? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Either through memes or comments I keep seeing this sentiment pop-up from time to time. And I'm wondering what your (yes, you) consensus is on it.

I for one am too pessimistic to do anything with potential hints. Like even if there is a good chance I still just don't want to risk it.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm male, and bi. I'm about equally bad at picking up on hints from men and women, but it seems more common with men to just flat out state what they want, either immediately, or after I miss their clue, which I'd presume to be cultural.

I'm bad with social clues in general, so I dunno if it's a male-thing, or a me-thing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

@VeganCheesecake It's a bit of both. I think the relevant concept here is Ask Culture versus Guess Culture.

I'm not sure if @FatTony is talking about romantic hints or all hints, but I think in many cultures women are socialised to be little a bit more Guess Culture than men, even if it doesn't come naturally. The same goes for LGBTQ+ in cultures that are repressive. And of course some nationalities tend towards one or the other.

As someone whose natural state is very Ask, I found this concept really helpful. Sometimes I straight out ask the Guess people if they are hinting to me.