Thank you for the lovely instance! I have been here since the reddit thing and feel like I wouldn't have stayed with Lemmy if it hadn't been for this lovely instance and the very amazing community you have moderated and fostered.

Thank you for all the hours of work and dedication, it's a huge pleasure with you two at the helm. To another year!

I think it really goes to show how reality bending it is when so much wealth is concentrated on singular people and that it’s just not healthy for us as a society.

Like even if he was a saint I don’t want any human to have direct control over so many things ESPECIALLY if he was not elected to do so in any capacity.

That he specifically has so many many „views“ on things I do not agree with just makes it that much more egregious

There is a spammer in the comments, they are not refering to OP :)

really liked the comic, thank you for sharing

I like Dr. K and I like the video.

I like how he articulates how emotions or circumstances are constructed for men to be solved. Not to be articulated, pondered upon and to feel much about. If you have a problem you should solve it basically. "Man the fuck up" as he points out.

His depiction of "men atriculating feelings differently" with showcasing how men can be kind of "harsh/unfriendly" in their communication of affection (basically soft bullying/negging in his examples) instead of saying: hey I really like you and stuff. He calls it negative expression for positive affection is fine I think. Tangent: [But I dunno - like I know I just read The will to change form Bell Hooks and am so happy she really writes what I've been thinking and mulling about for years - but I am missing this critique of what we are taught and into what social constructs we are born into. Dr. K mentions that we are taught this and I get that he doesn't wanna get too political about it. But why are "all men like this" and why can't men escape this even if they tried? I'd argue it's because socialisation and patriachy keeps it that way. The idea that men have to be domineering, controlling and a leader at all times. And this totally warped perception that control and domination can only be linked to (physical) violence and the readiness to use it as well as emotional coldness and distance.] Tangent over

I like that he really touches upon the physicality of emotions, that psychotherapy is often just the talking cure but that there are also physical ways of dealing with strong emotions. I also like that he states that he feels that hugging feels more important to men than his women clients. But here I'd also argue that it is linked to my aforementioned tangent. That it is this artifical distance men are forced into that starves them from literal connection/touch.

I also like him mentioning different/supplemental therapies more geared towards men. There are a lot of upcoming/developing therapy approaches. I know the last time I looked it up I found one centred around "adventure therapy" which sounded like a 5-day nature retreat for men only where they were hiking, and doing survival stuffs while talking in the evening/ in between exercises to connect.

So yeah, I think it's an informative video. Personally I would've loved some feminist partiachial critique of male socialisation yada yada. Otherwise thanks for sharing, I only had it on my to watch list, but you gave me the push to commit for it :)

Edit: I'd honestly say that while I think it is alright to not feel as articulate about your own emotions I think it is just a good practice to at least consistently try to get better at it. So much of our communication with others is easier when we get across what we truly want. So I think talking is really effective (but obviously I love talking with this wall of text:))

Why would it have to be on their website to be true?

https://youtu.be/Ggpe_JrYy-A?si=WtiUBemUI2RVDM3d

This is just one snippet of them quite explicitly stating what they want. I think it would be disingenuous to argue otherwise

So glad I got around to watching it - was perfect during cooking.

I really resonated with the perspective of how supporting the prison system or judicial system is fundamentally in support of a status quo and a way of not changing inherent system issues and problems like wellfare, housing, immigration statuses, brutal policing. Saying that getting an abuser arrested is **always ** the right choice in this carceral feminist perspective is I think harmful as Olisunvia points out. I also really appreciated how she touched upon the topic that calls for transformative or restorative justice don't mean that victims are meant to always forgive abusers or even use the current systems.

Generally the attitude to hold an either/and perspective of acknowledging that someone is an abuser and has done harm while still also acknowledging that they themselves can be a victim and symptoms of the system is very valuable to have I think. I don't think it's a perspective we can always hold but I think it's incredibly constructive in making sense of the social realities we live in.

Thanks for sharing the video - I had only seen her before during a F.D Signifier video and never checked her out individually, but I like her very articulate way of framing the discourse.

that patriarchy might ostensibly benefit men – even while poisoning them in a myriad of ways – but it is upheld by all genders, particularly within spaces like romantic partnership

With this quote I was reminded of many retellings of men in hetero relationship who still vividly remembered hurtful moments of being shamed when opening up and being vulnerable.

As the article states I would argue it’s wrong to assume that just one gender is at fault for the status quo, but that it is maintained by multiple actors.

And yes I’ve seen a lot of heteropessimism online and even partially irl but I think it’s breeding ground are „taking things for granted“ and just assuming what partners would like or want in relationships. Needs can be so diverse and deeply personal that I’d argue while there is possibility to feel safe in following a relationship script we have to dare to explore each other in our uniqueness and thereby also share ourselves authentically and that’s a forever journey.

Thank you for the nice read spaduf! (by the way is that a pun on the pokemon or am I nerding out?)

Goodness what an appalling thing to read. I grew up catholic (I haven’t been religious for more than a decade already) and still have to shake my head about the ban women face there to even become clergywomen.

The idea that there should be segregation based on sex is just so fundamentally weird to me especially in the example of boarding public transit.

I do hope this worrying trend is circumvented because it’s become abundantly clear in present times that the moment rights/laws are lost, a long battle is needed to regain them.

Like is this ultraconservative trend so appealing because people feel the past was SOMEHOW more appealing than the current times? I totally do not get it but thank you for sharing!

Oh thanks for posting these!

I never read the comics in my youth and only found them way later. But I still enjoy them a lot and there are still many I do not know, so thanks :)

Thanks it felt like a good summary and yes I share the sentiment. I also packed my bags and left almost immediately but enjoyed select safe spaces there

Oh goodness is it okay to ask what happened? I didn’t look back on Reddit so I’m totally out of the loop but I always cherished egg_irl.

And I am happy that you are here with us :)

Yeah - I haven’t checked Reddit again but there was

Menslib, which was focused on Men related issues and discussing them from an empathetic standpoint. I’d say it were critical social discussion with a clear emphasis on men.

And there was bropill, which was less about longer discussions and more about sharing in general.

I dunno if they are still active but if you start something I’d love to join that community. So maybe write me a DM if you do? :)