Someone else mentioned a breaker lockout which will absolutely do what you've asked.

A similar idea is to get plug lockouts. It goes over the plug of the tool/machine you want to prevent from being energized. This would let you keep power on but the tools can not be powered on.

You want to search for lockout and/or loto. You can get locks that use the same key too.

Do not rely on those plastic key things that some tool companies put on their machines. They are stupid easy to bypass.

🤷 Are there really haters?

Best tool is the one that gets the job done (ideally while keeping all your fingers).

Do you have a PRV? Is the sound worse at the PRV?

The hot water flow making the sound go away isn't explained by a bad PRV but everything else could be.

The honest truth is... It doesn't matter. Being a dad/father is not the same as being a genetic donor.

Your wife is not the cheater here and has no obligation to say anything. Again, because it doesn't matter.

The easy thing is to immediately tell him. The hard thing is to let the past stay in the past. If he finds out on his own means, and cares enough to roach the topic, it's a great time to have the conversation about what a father is.