Any recommendations for how to test? I've already grown out my hair and recently got a more 'androgynous' hair cut, but I am wayyyyy too scared and unsure to do anything more in public. When I play with my presentation in private there is an occasional spark, but it is mostly disappointing.
Honestly hormones feel like a potential next step, but I'm wary of breast growth and any other irreversible changes that might happen.
There is definitely a 'greener grass' effect happening here, but my perception of women from media and people I know is that they experience emotion and interpersonal connection in a way that feels entirely closed off to me. I've read accounts of trans women describing whole new worlds of emotion during transition, either by way of estrogen/HRT or self acceptance, and I want that.
I've been questioning my gender recently and think I might be trans, but I worry that it is for the wrong reasons. I've been depressed for a long time and I'm idealizing womanhood/being a woman as a way out. I dream that through transitioning I will become more inherently lovable, more capable of loving, less lonely, more beautiful, more alive.
More than anything I wish I could 'know' what I'm meant to be, what steps I can take to be happier.
I sent a 20 please post dog
I'm tired of all of the 'Great Man' type stories where a single individual or group changes the fate of the galaxy. Consider Phlebas by Ian Banks did it in an interesting way, the payoff of the heroic actions and sacrifice of the characters was revealed to be unimportant in the grand scheme of the war being fought, but this isn't revealed until the end, so it was a bit of a gimmicky 'gotcha' moment.
I want more slice-of-life sci-fi and fantasy. I recently read Long way to a Small, Angry Planet by Rebecca Chambers and really enjoyed the vignette based storytelling centered on a working class crew. You got to explore interesting corners of the galaxy a la Star Trek, but without the high stakes.
I also just finished reading Semiosis by Sue Burke, a humans-settle-an-exoplanet type story, and one of the things I really enjoyed was how the story was told in generations. It allowed for a cool materialist(?) storytelling where you could see how the culture of their 30-100 person colony is shaped by historical events that you just read about the chapter before.
I got the first booster super early, and wouldn't you know it, I just came down with covid yesterday. I'd been checking the status of the second booster daily, but I guess I won't need it now...
maybe