overview for jezefy

Boyfriend confessed to lying about his drug usage in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We actually live in Germany, which is why i don‘t feel like there is a need for self medication. We have free health care. He can get those medications for 5 euros from the pharmacy with a prescription from his mom who is a doctor, so a psychiatrist wouldn‘t even be necessary (imo still necessary but but he has easier access to it without finding a psychiatrist). I understand that it can help and he probably thought it was a way out for him but his circumstances really make it harder for me to grasp.

Boyfriend confessed to lying about his drug usage in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh i could have worded that a little differently. I don‘t oppose the use of prescription medication at all. My boyfriend had told me that people micro dose lsd and mushrooms for medical reasons and it helps with anxiety and depression, so i said that that‘s okay. Prescription medication is not an issue at all, self medicating with lsd and mushrooms kinda is to me but i understand how it might help some people.

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Boyfriend confessed to lying about his drug usage (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

27 comments fedilink

Hello!

My boyfriend (21) and I (21) have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. Due to a 3 hour distance we see each other once a week. We have been having issues for a couple of months because he got severely depressed and is very distant towards me. I try to support him as much as i can, even though it‘s hard sometimes. Especially yesterday because it was my birthday and he didn‘t want to meet up due to his mental state. He also didn‘t talk to me all day and I always put in a lot of effort for his birthday (even though he rejected everything i planned this year because of his depression).

Anyways, i had an ex when i was 16-17, who was also my best friend and my neighbor. We started dating and he started doing heavy drugs. He was an alcoholic and an addict. He was in hospital 3 times for overdosing and due to all this he was also emotionally abusive. I carry a lot of trauma from that relationship, so my opinion of drugs (doesn‘t matter if it‘s weed or cocaine) is extremely not good. I hate it.

I told my boyfriend about this when we started dating and he agreed. A few months ago he went to the Netherlands and tried weed and mushrooms. It bothered me a lot so I told him that I thought i made myself clear. He said he only tried it for fun and won‘t do it again.

Yesterday he confessed to me that he was taking lsd and mushrooms when he goes to work because he hates work so much and he also, a week ago, tried meth (since then he hasn‘t been able to eat or sleep and he told me that it‘s because of his depression) I was flabbergasted of course. Just a week ago we talked about how taking drugs is stupid if it‘s not for medical reasons (and even that was a compromise from my side). He agreed with me (while doing drugs daily) AND THEN THE NEXT DAY tried meth.

He had never done any of these things before and did them knowing how i feel about it and did it without considering my feelings. I feel betrayed because he lied to me for 2 months.

At first he tried to blame me for my reaction "that‘s why i can‘t tell u things like this“ and "you don‘t understand how i feel“. He said that it‘s easy to judge from the outside but i don‘t understand? i always consider him when i do things. I would never do things i know he doesnt like for fun.

I would maybe have understood a little bit if he was doing it before we got together but he wasn‘t. He decided to do it and lie to me and now he‘s telling me that he hates sober life.

I am very lonely and i don‘t have anyone but him so I am laying in bed now thinking about what i should do. I know i should break up but i need someone to tell me if this is fucked up or if i am just overreacting because i don‘t have anyone to confide in right now.

Can a relationship be fixed if my boyfriend (M21) can‘t give me the bare minimum (according to himself) in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

no changes at all. He does the same things he always does, he looks the same and he wears the same things. To me it seems like he is doing better, he himself said that too like 1-2 months ago.

Can a relationship be fixed if my boyfriend (M21) can‘t give me the bare minimum (according to himself) in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

he doesn‘t think therapy will help him, self medicates with anti depressants and like u said, if he is depressed, does not think so himself.

Can a relationship be fixed if my boyfriend (M21) can‘t give me the bare minimum (according to himself) in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

of course i asked him. Whenever we have these conversations, it‘s always about why he is like this all of a sudden. He tells me that he does not have a reason and is just not in the right headspace. I probably have asked him 15 times by now. When we met, he already struggled with his mental health and he himself told me that he feels better than ever, since he started working part time.

About the thing i said: I understand that that was wrong and like i said, i should not have said that but after telling him so so many times what i need and what i want, he should at least attempt to spend time with me, especially when i MAKE TIME to talk to him. Today was like the only opportunity to watch something, since he’ll start working tomorrow and more relatives r arriving and i won‘t have any alone time at all anymore. He knows all of this. The expectation to not ask for absolutely EVERYTHING when i told him more than 15 times in the past 3 weeks, is not unrealistic either. You communicate to know what you‘re doing wrong and change it to the best of your abilities if u want to. I expect the same i do for him back.

Can a relationship be fixed if my boyfriend (M21) can‘t give me the bare minimum (according to himself) in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

i understand that but he does not want space. He still wants to meet up and have sex. I don‘t double text, i know he is busy. He has space, we text maybe 1-2 a day atp. I don‘t know if i was able to make it clear enough in my post.