The catch is, if it works some oil company is gonna buy it out and kill it.

This was a phrase mostly used for shaming men who didn't measure up to some princess's standards, just shy of 'incel.' Maybe the unintelligentsia has decided to use it more broadly now for anyone they want to mock.

It's been a learning process for me, and an expensive one. For my first self-published short story collection, I bought a pre-made cover I thought looked cool. Then when I posted it people pointed out how the character illustration looked exactly like some manga character I'd never heard of. Then someone mentioned they were an aspiring artist and could do an original. That one turned out much better and I used that.

For my first self-published novel I commissioned an artist from Artstation whose work looked good. She mostly did what I asked for but I still don't think it looks right. I eventually realized that specifically making cover art for books is a different skill than simply art in general. I had simultaneously commissioned covers for two other of my trad published books in hopes of replacing the covers when/if I get my rights back, and they're all fine, but not great.

For my upcoming work I bit the bullet and went right to a dedicated cover artist whose work I'd seen before and liked. It's more expensive, but not by much. I'm on a wait list until October but I'm excited about this one. So as of right now I'd say find covers you like in your genre, track down the artist (often just ask the author directly if they're not too famous to reply) and get ballpark prices for a few, then choose among them.

Is there a good platform for finding readers? I've been trying to get people to read my books for years without success.

This is the conversational equivalent of women's makeup...and high heels...and padded bra. But those totally aren't cheats, right?

My bond ETF is still $8K in the hole. Guess I'll just die instead of retire.