I'm in a similar position, I was pretty repressed and then figured out everything at once and started hormones ~1 month or so after that. I still get nervous sometimes, but as other members have pointed out you totally can just stop if you want. It's important to be in touch with how you're feeling about the changes, particularly early, but it's much much easier to figure out "I like this, I don't like this, I'm excited about this" vs. trying to reconstruct some kind of perfect trans narrative out of your past, and I really wish someone had told me it was cool to just do that!
I'm in a similar position, I was pretty repressed and then figured out everything at once and started hormones ~1 month or so after that. I still get nervous sometimes, but as other members have pointed out you totally can just stop if you want. It's important to be in touch with how you're feeling about the changes, particularly early, but it's much much easier to figure out "I like this, I don't like this, I'm excited about this" vs. trying to reconstruct some kind of perfect trans narrative out of your past, and I really wish someone had told me it was cool to just do that!