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I wanna help a family member to sort out her debts and finance plan. She was in a poor mental state and made some questionable financial decisions. Currently just started a new part time job while waiting for further her education, getting about RM2.3k basic a month.

Commitments: a. Motorcycle (shop loan) - RM213/month, loan balance RM7500 b. PTPK - RM230/month, loan balance RM21500 (planning to defer payment after she gets into uni) c. Credit card - minimum payment RM150, loan balance RM3000 d. ShopeePay - total RM3000 , range about RM400/month to RM1000 until September

I have a budget of 3-5k to help her for this. My ask is that if I can help her to pay (i’ll ask her to pay me back), which debt should I clear first? Don’t want her to keep adding debt because of the interest. Her payment ability will also reduce once she gets into uni as she will probably not be working.

Thank you all sifu!

For context, my teammate (F, 31) is interested to get to know another colleague from a different team (M, 28). The guy is definitely single and doesn’t reject the idea of a relationship (got to know as another teammate helped to ask). FYI, the guy has an introverted personality.

I’m not sure how to help convey my teammate’s feelings to the guy (like help to set a meet up, ask if he’s interested etc), without making it feel awkward for the both of them, should the guy is not interested in my teammate. Any suggestions?

I met this guy via a dating app when I was 23 (Working) and he was 25 (Graphic Designer/Video Editor). We had a good time and think he carried conversations well and there weren't any red flags. And tbh, I was only hesitating to date him bcs I didn't particularly like his looks- and I was afraid that I won't be 100% in the relationship - scared to introduce him to my friends etc (I think I was being so superficial about this). At this point, we haven't had a physical meet-up yet, not even a phone call. But we ended up dating anyway after about 5 months of talking (still online).

Then he disappeared. I left him messages about how I felt disrespected bcs he ghosted me and how it felt that what we had didn't matter (sort of). Anyways he came back after about 3-4 months. And I entertained him bcs I wasn't talking to anyone else and I somehow felt like it's not nice to leave people on read/hanging? Idk I have this thing with appreciating a friendship/relationship and not leaving people hanging. Or maybe I was just lonely.

We got to talking again and the cycle continues (he went missing and came back). This went on multiple times for 2 years (until 2023). And most recently, we talked about how toxic it was and why we kept on wanting to try again. Mostly for me, bcs I felt like we haven't even done anything together, not even meeting up yet, so it felt like I was heartbroken for nothing (at least we should've had a proper relationship before ending things). He agreed to the same - and we also agreed that he keeps on coming back for the thrill and fun and I also stayed bcs I haven't found someone who I can really click with. So we got back to talking about having a relationship, and I stressed that it's important to me to have at least daily check-ins and let's finally meet. But he couldn't fulfil it just like before (but he always had the time to post on Instagram and watch soccer when he didn't reply to me!) and he went missing again.

I kinda miss him and the familiarity of our relationship. I know if I text him, he'll definitely come back. But reminding myself that none of us would change (him coming and leaving and me hurting him with my words) and asking myself, what do I want out of it, is it worth it? Maybe I just want some drama in my life so it's not so plain & boring everyday haha