ameliorability

Thanks. I'm feeling much better now but will still reply. I tried not to do those things as I was in a dark place and now have to channel my thoughts in a more productive way.. now focusing on family and development more, kind of forcing it. And it helped me a lot though it's far from a perfect journey. Try reading my other comment replies!

Thank you for the help brother. I recently had a short dream of her where she tried to be lovey dovey to me but I didn't show love, it's kinda weird but I think that says something lol. Also focusing on family:)

That's kind of how I felt; her reaction made it obvious that she was hiding it. It's especially hard to feel okay because I was raised to highly respect and value women and I started blaming myself more than I should have. Thank you brother. I have cut her off and feel better.

Thank you for the advice brother. I created as much distance i could, and used to think of contacting her again, but forced myself to stick to my decision. It feels like that part of my brain that once used to pulse with love is now turned off. Although I hadn't felt love in a long time in my relationship either. I focused on myself and did professional and personal development. I'm sure I am on the right path right now!

Thanks, it was hard to get every trace of her away from my phone, she had sent me 1700 pics. Gotta be more strict in the future.

Thank you. She used the friends card after I found out about her bf, only had mentioned being friends once without explanation many months prior. But I didn't think she'd be sending pics ot her behind to a friend, tbh.

she said "as a friend" only once, and dropped went back to calling me intimate names and sending intimate pics

Although I won't do LDR again, we had a genuine connection!

Thanks man! I know time will heal, but here I got some great input from other people like you about my relationship and life in general. I'm trying to take this "ending" in the most productive way possible. I'm over the emotional part but my post helped me learn what I did and didn't do wrong!

Thank you. At this point we have 2 ESH, 2 NTA and 2 NAH so idk where we going lol.

She never clearly said that we are together, of course romantic terms implied that it was true. About over a month ago she sent me undeniably spicy pics too, making me believe further that we were together, and blamed her reduced talking on her depression so I thought we were together still.

I stayed there even when she emotionally checked out because I know depression is a tough phase and I made sure to express love and care daily to her. So I never really emotionally detached and didn't pick up the cues apparently, she does admit the relationship ended about a month ago but that she never said it then, only mentioned it months prior.

Hey thanks for the kind words although I have my fair share of negatives. Perhaps emotional connection is one of those negatives, that her bf is better at? But I knew I couldn't be with a girl with apparent second choices, even if it wasn't that way, and told her bf barely sufficient evidence of what was happening because bro code.

I have blocked her but have the bf in my contacts. I just left the conversation with him after letting him know that I existed (and learning that he existed). I may be open to talking to the guy, what should I ask him?

Thanks mate. I'm not heartbroken, but the thing is I HAVE NO FEELINGS AT ALL. If anything I feel glad that I found out she had a bf and blocked her, instead of staying with her not knowing about it. In all honesty. I'm just bored and tired that the relationship occupies my mental resources. There's nothing else to think of when I'm not actively doing something. You're right, it feels like I lost the future and now I'm not sure what it feels like to be single. I'm carrying on with my studies but when I'm not studying or watching youtube I find myself thinking of the relationship and I have to force myself to do something I can't just sit and not be bored.

I used to think of calculus and mathematical problems all the time when i was single, I solved all of those complicated problems by now. Now I have nothing to think of at all. I know this doesn't seem a reply to your post, and thank you for your advice, but the major issue isn't heartbreak anymore - more so the unproductivity and boredom on my head that keeps lingering.

You say getting under someone else helps.. that's a good idea, but how can I find solace in myself at the moment? I don't want to be with someone just because I can't deal with this myself. Thank you.

:)

Thanks man. There's so much left for me to learn. I'm struggling to remember what I'm like as a single person, the thing that comes to mind is the guy sitting late at night doing calculus listening to NCS songs and playing mc during online classes. I'll have to continue the way I am, but with a considerable amount of mental changes.

At the end we're just online strangers (unfortunately), so. See you some other time, in some other world. Take care.