Vibi

Ya... honestly I wouldn't put much stock in Internet insults- easier said than done, I know. I think it's really easy to get lost in our screens and forget the real world is incredibly different. It's really frustrating how our brains sort through things- you'll get a lot of positive feedback, and then one or two negative comments and that's what our brains decide to focus on. I think it's fairly normal for a lot of people, but I think it's worth working on training your brain to untangle those types of thoughts. I recommend looking into Cognitive Distortions!

I think it's really about going at your own pace and being patient with yourself! I'm still trying to find my happy middle as well.

For hair, find a local non-chain salon, and let them take care of you. They'll work with you, recommend the right products for your hair type and the style you'd like to go for. I gave up trying to style mine and instead just super take care of it. I personally wash it once or twice a week with a fairly expensive Japanese shampoo/conditioner that my stylist recommended (I've been seeing her for over 11 years and we're great friends... She's been such a huge help through my transition). I also started to decorate it with cute bows and hair bands- I really recommend this! I've even started making my own!

Makeup is another story - I've been struggling, but honestly really care more about having healthy skin. Definitely start building a skincare routine so your skin starts to naturally glow. I also recommend a BB cream if foundation doesn't feel right for you (not a fan of foundation tbh). From there you can find a tinted chapstick if you want some color for your lips. As much as I'd love to give you pointers on eye makeup - this is my biggest struggle area right now, but we're just getting started so practice and patience!

It can be really disheartening seeing other women just radiate beauty, but remember that they've had many many years of practice and definitely struggled when they first started 🩷

Started going to a small local coffee shop a little over two years ago, and I'll never go back to the giant chains. The people working are always happy, greet regulars by name, always go out of their way to interact or talk with me- usually remember something we talked about before, comp my orders every now and then, host little events, etc. It's not just them either - I always have a way better experience going to non-chain coffee places. Oh, and the coffee is always waay better and priced better.

I think your feelings on this are super valid. Each step can be a bit scary, especially when you aren't sure how people in your life are going to react. Pronouns and gender identity are your choice 🩷 remember that it's not about passing or having certain checkboxes checked, it's about how you feel and what you're working on/towards! One aspect of transitioning is finding people who respect who you are and who you want to become without gatekeeping or forcing their personal versions of gender on you. Women can have beards, body hair, deep voices, balding, huge muscles, etc - it's fine if you don't want these things for yourself, but none of these are a reason to think you aren't valid as a woman.

If you can, I super encourage you to try to find more queer places and people to interact with. You'll find there's a huge spectrum of gender presentation and identity - it really helped me feel confident and comfortable with my choices and feelings.

I guess it depends how your emotions resolve. If you don't want to be seen as a boy/man, then you can ask them to stop calling you that without elaborating further. I personally would not have friends or continue to stay in a space where people didn't respect my identity, pronouns, or whatever label I choose for myself.

For my transition I'm not looking to be seen as or called a boy - period, so being called a femboy would cause me the same pangs as being misgendered.

I think the thing I would think about is if you're okay with people deciding who you are. Sure, there's some affirmation as they see you as feminine, but once you open up to these people about your goals, will they respect you or continue to call you something that doesn't align with your transition.

Could be here but underwent some type of renovation: https://www.instagram.com/p/CvCLjVCPUT-/?igsh=cnRjbmhjZ3pub2pv

You might also be able to check here. This is apparently a map of locations mentioned in the series: https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=12s-GM3ojFRqhNE5nr8BULsfIkSQaLLAp&ll=35.578618204012514%2C138.4754854649746&z=11

Actually super interesting how close our chosen names are! I like it!

I very much go through this. It can be hard looking at all the niche things around my house which I spent so much energy pursuing - specialized photography rigs, magic cards, jewelry making tools+storage, exercise gear, crazy keyboard setups for multiboxing, etc. With all of those came the community aspect. I feel so guilty just disappearing after gaining so much attention and recognition in various areas. I can confidently say I'm paralyzed with some type of fear to get into new things- I know they'll consume me, but then one day I'll wake up and just see it as a source of stress and drop it. If I had infinite money and loved socializing, I'd not be too stuck, but I just can't afford to keep cycling through interests right now. The things which tend to interest me always demand a financial sink.

I wonder which of these is the cheapest and which is the most expensive.

Music is my escape as well. I consider myself an audiophile and listen to music very technically as it's one of the only things which distracts my inner monologue. Gives me a chance to visualize the sound stage and appreciate every little production decision. Also, great username! Glassware was one I used for the longest time.

My brain shifted towards the end of high school. Growing up, I had an uncontrollable imagination and mental environment - it was essentially a never ending plot line consisting of characters from movies, shows, books, comics- anyone that I found interesting. It was a way to cope. My brain constantly had these characters interact and create conflicts. Their actions and dialog would sometimes spill out into the real world, and I had to remember to keep everything inside. I saw it all in my mind- it was honestly super creative. I eventually wanted it all to stop because I felt like I couldn't control it, but it took effort. I had to slowly turn the extremely detailed characters into lesser versions of themselves until they were just mental stick figures; eventually, I was able to stop the story as I got bored maintaining personalities for 2d characters.

I can still access my visual mind, with effort, but it's nothing like it was. It is now instead a constant inner monologue which converses at nothing- usually it's about topics which I might have to explain to someone later or a way to navigate my thoughts/feelings. There's never anyone talking back, just my mind talking at nothing. It can be helpful as my brain bricks during random/spontaneous conversations with people, and I can lean on rehearsed talking points/sentences.

As for memory- It's on point when something is actively in my life, but the moment that thing becomes uninteresting or I step away for a few weeks, it feels less accessible and usually makes me super anxious and avoidant. Learning about things initially is super fun, but knowing I'm missing information which I previously was very confident in is tough for me.

I have a SUPER random one and have been wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience; I started HRT (patches) and Spiro last week!

I'm a daily cannabis consumer and have been for many years (🩷Volcano Hybrid). One thing I experience for a few days whenever my tolerance dips, or when in a situation which lowers my tolerance (different location or around different people), is a phantom feeling like I've wet myself or feel like I'm about to. It's something I mention to people who are just starting with cannabis, and I have found it's very common. It's not something I've experienced in years, and I did not expect a variation of that feeling to return. I know tolerance fluctuates based on a variety of things, so I guess I'm not surprised- just wasn't something I expected!