I was suicidal too some years ago, maternal abuse and fathers suicide, while having to still pass my studies.
I managed to finish my studies and then I broke down, I spent two years just smoking weed and playing videogames while thinking about death.
After taking mushrooms my depressiom improved and I was able to have enough energy to continue my life, 3 years later I feel much better and my life is a lot better too.
I hated when people told me to not do it, but now im not so sure, things really have gotten better for me in ways I would have never thought of.
I guess make sure you have looked at every option before doing anything.
No