Stalin: Ya-da-da-da-da-da- It is good day to be not dead!
Trotsky: POW! You are dead!
Stalin: I am dead!
Trotsky: Chuckling, while Khrushchev is doing the conga towards the scene (Trotsky says "aw, shucks” as Khrushchev gets close.)
Khrushchev: Oh! Stalin is dead!
Stalin: Yes. I am dead!
Khrushchev: Why is Stalin dead?!
Trotsky: I dunno.
Stalin: I think it was-
Trotsky & Khrushchev: Shhh, you are dead!
Stalin: Ok.
(Beria enters the scene exiting the car)
Beria: What's up, you wankers?! Who’s up for a- AH! What the- bloody hell just happened?!
Trotsky & Khrushchev: Stalin is dead!
Khrushchev: So, did you see the murderer?
Trotsky & Beria: Nah, sorry mate.
Khrushchev: Slams hand on desk I will find him, I will capture him, and no one will ever die again!
(Trotsky & Beria applause)
Beria: Ah, well that's nice
Trotsky: I am damn proud right now!
(Zhukov appears on the scene)
Zhukov: Atteeeeeeeeention!
(Zhukov rushes to the dead body of Stalin)
Zhukov: That Stalin is dead!
Khrushchev: We know!
Zhukov: Who killed him?
Khrushchev: We don't know!
Zhukov: I will find clues!
(Zhukov searches through a pile of stuff while sniffing)
Zhukov: What's that? Grabs gun A weapon?! That thing is why Stalin is dead!
Trotsky, Beria & Krushchev: Stalin is dead?!
Zhukov: Slams hands on desk Yes, he died!
Trotsky, Beria, and Kruschev: All shocked
Malenkov: (From far away) Incoming!
(Ambulance crashes Zhukov into a building wall, killing him.)
Malenkov: Exits out of Ambulance Davai, Davai! Pushes Trotsky, Beria, and Khrushchev away from Stalin Move now! Kisses Stalin on head
(Heavenly music sounds while the light focuses on Stalin)
Stalin: (Rising in air) Hohoho, Jos- Explodes Oof.
Malenkov: In my medical opinion, Stalin is dead! (Camera rotates to Beria)
Beria: Doc, what happened?
Malenkov: My professional opinion? Slams hands on desk then turns to the right Stalin was killed!
Trotsky, Beria, and Khrushchev: Panicking
Malenkov: I don't think it's anything to worry about.
Khrushchev: Well, now what?
(Vasily entering while doing the conga in the background)
Vasily: Clipidy clop mother****er! Boom!
Khrushchev: Says “Oh, come on.” before Vasily says boom
Vasily: Look at this! Freaking Stalin is dead! Pause What do you think of that? Pause Ahm…
Khrushchev: Yes, yes, Vasily.
Vasily: Yea?
Khrushchev: Go home!
(Vasily’s mother appears in a car telling Vasily to get in)
Vasily: Ah come on! Pffff! Freaking unbelievable seriously, you all suck.
(Car drives off and crashing noise is heard)
Vasily: Screams of pain
Khrushchev: Ok, let's get back to the point
Stalin: Poking at his dead body I think Stalin is dead.
Trotsky, Beria, Khrushchev, and Malenkov: Stalin is dead?!
Malenkov: Turns around and notices dead Vasily in burning car Vasily! I will heal you- Car explodes and camera goes back to Stalin
Stalin: Oh, Seriously?! Who killed Stalin?!
(Camera shows on Molotov drinking Vodka)
Molotov: Slurp Slurp It was me!
Trotsky, Beria, Khrushchev, and Stalin: Shocked
Molotov: Yes! I did it like this: Takes out a revolver and shoots Beria in the chest Boom! Molotov flies off from force of revolver blast
Beria: Screams of pain
Molotov: Woop dee doo!
Trotsky, Khrushchev, and Stalin: Are terrified seeing Beria’s dead body
Molotov: Burps That’s a joke, lads.
Trotsky, Khrushchev, and Stalin: Starts laughing like crazy
Molotov: Slurp Slurp Burp It was… yo-... Burp Points at Trotsky Him!
Trotsky: Shocked How did you know?!
Molotov: I didn’t. Burps That was a joke too.
(Camera moves to Trotsky, as Molotov keeps drinking faster)
Molotov: Falls on ground Oh, I’m dead.
Trotsky: Manic laughter That’s right! It was me!
Khrushchev: You monster!
Stalin: But whyyyyy?
Trotsky: Cause you’re fat, boy. And another thing, you’re ugly.
Trotsky and Stalin: Arguing
Khrushchev: Shrugs (Text appears saying : IT’S TRADITION)
Trotsky: Ah dammit Stalin**** off! You are dead.
Stalin: No u, POW! Ha ha.
(Trotsky falls dead on floor)
Stalin: You are dead! Not big surprise.
Khrushchev: Well that was idiotic. Off to hang myself! Khrushchev doing flip on noose Watch and lea- Choking noises
Stalin: I am alive! Is nice. Yes, this is stupid.
Actually the original version of TF2 based on Goldsource was better cause it would be based boomer-shooter ps1 grafixx retro clean hectic nostalgums rather than the cruddy 60's stylized still-looks-nice-in-2024 kiddie graffix TF2 has today. Valve ruined another possible game yet again, first richochet 2 ,now this...