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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/CourtK1212 on 2023-10-17 18:45:18+00:00.
I’m an at my highest weight ever. I have high blood pressure, am prediabetic, have a hard time walking long distances, am constantly in pain, don’t look good in any clothes, have sleep apnea, body looks disgusting and am unable to do so many things due to my weight.
I take Lexapro for anxiety, levothyroxine for hypothyroidism, Sprintec to control heavy flows, Spironolactone for blood pressure and PCOS (believed to have it, I went to get an ultrasound of my ovaries but they couldn’t see through the fat). I also have sinus issues.
All the warning signs are there, I’m close to a point of no return.
But I just cannot seem to internalize how dire the danger in all this and how I can do something about it. I know what to do but I just can’t execute it. It’s rather simple in theory. Exercise and eat healthier/in moderation. But, I can’t take action.
I describe myself as an old diesel truck whose engine is trying to turn over but it just won’t. I try to develop a new habit and I fall out of it after a few days.
I do have a therapist but the eating/weight gain has only gotten worse. She doesn’t specialize in e disordered eating but it’s free through my insurance and can’t afford to see a specialist on a regular basis.
My therapist believes I suffer from adhd and I do have a prescription for Adderall but I have yet to take it.
I’m tired of feeling like a failure. I know if I don’t do something soon I will die. I know this. But why can’t I commit? What is going to have to happen for me to get motivated to change? To fight the hard fight?