this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
178 points (91.6% liked)

okmatewanker

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No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

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cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/17074981

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19837626

Okay but unironically candy pizza is good

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago

This isn't slander. Slander is spoken, in print it's libel.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

And theyโ€™d still call that a biscuit.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago

You could at least blame us for things that we're actually responsible for, like cherry pizzert.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

Americans take things far too seriously.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

OK, America unironically sucks for a lot of reasons but this isn't one of them. No, we would not. And tinned beans for breakfast will never not be weird, sorry UK.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Yeah you would. This will be the first course at the Trump inauguration banquet.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

And tinned beans for breakfast will never not be weird, sorry UK.

Strong words for a country where more people eat doughnuts for breakfast than sausages.

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 14 hours ago

Whoy ain't they eatin' sawsagees???

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"Doughnuts, sweet rolls, pastries" ...are not "doughnuts"

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

"Doughnuts, sweet rolls, pastries" ...are not "doughnuts"

... Huh?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Combining the stats from three things, the last of which is a broad category, and then calling it one thing is misleading at best

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Wait, you're telling me someone played up a bit in okmatewanker??? The audacity!

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I dunno I just took it as shitting on Americans without even being funny about it /shrug

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

I can see that. One day we'll figure out how to communicate tone over text.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 19 hours ago

Doughnuts are easier to bring to a group setting

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

If you put any more sugar into UK beans they'd qualify as caramel, what are you talking about.

[โ€“] [email protected] -1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

what beans have you been eating probably heinz maybe buy good beans

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Ugh no, Heinz beans are beyond foul (tbh most Heinz stuff is gross - the US version of their tomato ketchup is practically a dessert topping at this point) but dude I have eaten lots of UK beans from many different places, they just like their beans sweet and syrupy. It doesn't really make the list of English Food Crimes (minted mushy peas, boiled sprouts, drowning an entire fucking seven-dish dinner in brown gravy what is WRONG with them). I guess I can see why people would like it? I just find it deeply unpalatable.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

look you can insult the mushy peas and boiled sprouts go ahead only old people eat that stuff anyway but don't you ever dare to insult gravy it's the nectar of the gods and a roast dinner without at least half a jug of nice thick gravy just isn't complete lovely meaty fatty juices

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I guess that's fair, it's not like the individual dishes have enough flavour to warrant being able to taste them individually anyways so there's no real harm done by drowning it all in meat syrup...

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

sounds like you just can't cook they can all be very delicious on their own the gravy just ties it all together in a perfect bow

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I get it, it's rough when nobody cares about the few cultural exports you've still got, and it's even more rough to be confronted with the reality of the state your culture is in generally. I mean god, I sure fucking understand, I'm american and look at us right now. But I guess it's not like you can cling to your actual national dish (Chicken Tikka) for a cultural identity, it might be a bit... awkward... at the state dinners with Modi.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 34 points 22 hours ago

Someone on the original post said that this is from that one Brazilian pizza shop that does a bunch of really weird pizzas just as a social media thing, and I agree. I'm pretty sure I've seen this pic in a compilation of their pizzas, but it might have been a different one with a whole chicken.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 19 hours ago (4 children)

No one would eat that abortion

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Lol I mean if I were starving I would but it's not appetizing

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago

I mean, I'd eat the chicken in its own and I bet the desert pizza tastes pretty decent.

A pizza place where I live does desert pizza and it's fantastic

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I know right, the cheese isn't even melted.

I'm not eating undercooked rotisserrie-chicken-sprinkles-offbrand-m&m-pizza, go crisp that in the air fryer for a few minutes.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Beans on toast has piss in it??

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You put piss in your beans on toast? You need helpโ€ฆ.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Are you plannin to take the piss, mate?

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 23 hours ago (11 children)

average american first breakfast

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[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

I guarantee that pizza isn't American, it's Japanese or from the UAE, book it

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago

If there's one thing Americans have excessively strong opinions about, it's pizza. This looks like some social media bait nonsense.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Brazil is known for this kind of thing. They make up a significant number of the posts in r/pizzacrimes

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Pretty sure it's Brazilian. There's a restaurant, Pizzeria Bate Papo, that posts weird pizzas like this online. There might be more as I've seen people joke about Brazilian pizzas in general, but I'm a yank and that one restaurant is the only place I know of for sure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

doesn't have a Lemmy sub, but [email protected]

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

How am I supposed to eat my everything pizza without the beans on toast section? Is there even haggis in this?

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