this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 hours ago

I can never get the harmonic resonance of my farts just right in the work toilets. At home I can make that baby hum like a didgeridoo

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Your legs are gonna fall asleep if you don't get off the toilet sometime

[–] [email protected] 14 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

This is a valid point, the down side is I have to pay for the toilet paper and water myself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Pro tip, any time you do visit the office, bring a standard key for the dispenser. I mean they bought it for your use, right? If you don't have an office nearby you can always visit someone else's office.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

I have a bidet and a towel. One toilet paper roll lasts 6 months.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry mate, I was just making a joke.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

That ain't allowed in these here parts, pardner.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I can only imagine. Can you image working in construction? No break room. Nowhere to sit for lunch. Eight porta potties for two hundred workers, sitting in the direct sun on a code red day. Dude that cleans them is puking.

When I got higher up, and got access to an entire building, I'd find an empty floor and use those bathrooms. Pure luxury.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

Having worked construction, there are plenty of places to sit for lunch if you don't mind improvising or you drive to work. Porta-johns are definitely nightmarish tho. On the last job I worked, someone (we still aren't sure who) missed the hole with a puddle of straight diarrhea, rendering one of the only two toilets on the entire job virtually unusable.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Installing a bidet was one of the best decisions I've made in the bathroom, but it makes pooping at work a lot worse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

I have a bidet but can only use it in the summer because the water is ice in the winter :(. I'd love to hook up the hot water to it but there's no way to do it in my rented house

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Searching for "self heating bidet attachment" will give you an array of options from $45 to $300

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

A lot of Japanese bidets have a water AND seat heating feature, no need for hot water hookup. I know it seems expensive but it's very well-made and I'm very happy with mine.

https://a.co/d/e0QTxAN

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

Extension cord and it’ll use electric heating.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Only using TP now makes me feel like cave man. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it off with napkin and go on about your day? No.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (9 children)

To be fair, I don't go around touching things and eating with my bare buttcrack all day. I do those things with my hands, which I wash after going to the bathroom. And I shower at least once a day and clean that buttcrack with soap.

That's not to say that a bidet isn't better than TP, just that the analogy never made sense.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No, but I eat with my hands. My butt hole hardly ever touches my food before I've eaten it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

hardly ever

It's rare, but it still occurs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago

Not ruling it out.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Omg I came here to comment exactly this. Such a luxury

You know, you could bring a water bottle to the bathroom and one of these pocket sized bidet caps and nobody would really know. Unless you chose a crinkly bottle I guess

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

That is a phenomenal tip right there!! Didn't know these products existed, thanks a ton.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Disagree, it means I have to fight with my partner for use of the toilet and she is somehow always in the bathroom

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

sounds like someone needs more fiber supplementation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Trap the place

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 day ago

I mean im not the type like my wife who will hold it to not use an outside toilet but I have to agree. I would say access to your fridge is equally useful though. Its just way more convenient overall. Sill not having the commute is tops. I generally had to give myself an hour on leaving to make sure I would arrive ontime and for whatever reason traffic always seems worse in the evening. So like 10 hours incinerated with travel per week. Then like the additional getting ready is like 30mins so thats another 2.5 and that fridge thing means you can eat without going out but you don't have to pack a lunch. going to give that another .5. All the incidentals from walking my dog to being able to catch a 30min show at lunch im going to say its worth at least 2 more. Its easy to see its worth 25% on the low side and 30% on the high side (with the caveat that a job is useless if it can't meet your bills).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Fuq yeah! I have a fancy Japanese bum-washer, it's far better than anything in an office, and you don't have to worry about what sounds or smells you make.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

I don't understand why office toilets don't have white noise machines. nobody wants to hear their coworkers.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

I think my butt would get sore if I used the toilet all day long but its definitely better than doing it at work

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I also eat healthier and tastier. I can do dishes, laundry, and clean here and there. I am MORE productive. I don't have to commute. But my boss is a Conservative Gen-Xer who believes working from home is the devil.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

yep i love working from home, i feel like i'm really living in my neighborhood and i can do all sorts of regular life tasks (chores, take deliveries, etc etc) whenever i like

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

Don't you get bored of masturbating in the same toilet everyday?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

I'm doing so right now.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

The toilets in my office are maintained by dedicated staff. The ones in my home are occasionally paid attention to by distracted volunteers.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Yes and I can use it as often as I want without guilt.

That and I can play music and videos with bothering anyone as background noise.

Actually the best benefit is being able to hang around my cat.

And husband, it's nice to see him too I guess.

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