this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy

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I mean small like I sneeze and a 20 dollar bill appears in my hand or something like that. Not classic answers like flying or super strength.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I already have a minor superpower. Sort of a weak form of telepathy. I can alter people’s thoughts and emotional state with my mind.

As for how my best guess is I got abducted by aliens and they altered me somehow. I do have a bunch of small identical scars scattered around my body.

As for why, I’m not sure. I suspect it might be a scientific study of human morality. Hopefully I’m giving them a good view of humanity with how I use it.

I only use it to help people. I can help people calm down when they’re panicking. I even did it with a dog once: it was a little dog in a shopping cart and it seemed terrified of everything so I just transmitted what it’s like to realize everything’s okay, and immediately the dog stopped shivering and looked around with wide eyes of wonder, then looked at me. There you go little guy.

I’m in sales, and I never use my powers to swing a sale. That’s unethical.

My favorite use of the powers is to enhance parties and concerts. Thought recently I’ve been toning that down too because it’s also kind of unethical. I do feel like operating on a crowd bothers me less than operating on a person.

I went to Ninja Sex Party in Boulder last fall and I helped drive the crowd wild. They said we were their best crowd ever and they’d never had a better concert.

If the DJ sucks I can just activate more of his brain and suddenly he’s on fire. If someone’s looking threatening toward me I can just instill a little irrational fear of me. Their mind fills in the details: “why am I suddenly afraid of that little guy? He must have powerful friends, or I’m being watched or something”

Overall, having a superpower is really weird because people don’t think it exists, and I can’t talk about it without being labeled crazy.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Invisibility, with ability to hide IR and sound and can make recording video cameras invisible too. I'd expose all the corrupt politicians, judges, and CEOs!

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[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

ability to spawn $100,000,000,000 into my bank account at any time :)

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