this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
265 points (87.7% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

I'm not sure why, but I feel like theres a different word underneath the word fella.

[–] [email protected] 150 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This probably isn’t true, but like if it is, you shouldn’t have to be told to not let your dog fuck your ass. Your Dad is reacting exactly how any sane person would in that situation.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 days ago

"Violence is isually the answer."

  • Roadhog
[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 days ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] [email protected] 131 points 6 days ago

Hey, I just wanted you to know that I didn't like your post.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Connect for Lemmy on Android

[–] [email protected] 91 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago (2 children)

So George Carlin voiced the conductor in the US. Someone mixed in his standup with the show, and it's pretty great.

https://youtu.be/ov4RwjQGye0

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought it was Ringo Starr?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 6 days ago

Once again an abominable greentext could have been avoided if anon would just have a damn shower!

[–] [email protected] 98 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Anon screwed the pooch and is now in the doghouse.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Honestly I've never actually slowed down to truly parse the phrase "screw the pooch". Well, now I have, and also fuck you because I used to be innocent 😭

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Holy shit. I thought I was being witty using that idiom instead of screwed the pooch. TIL it's already a thing, moreover the origin story of screwed the pooch.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Dog gone it!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

I hate you.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago

too tired to move

Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit. WTF anon?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago

I should have just scrolled away

1000014574

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Anon became a white woman.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

i don’t know what this means, but i hate you for writing it

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (11 children)

You'll hate me too for explaining it, there's a running stereotype that white women fuck their dogs.

I didn't make it up and I don't spread such stereotypes, but that's what they meant by their above comment.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (7 children)

well that’s just stupid and racist.
but i appreciate the explanation and don’t hate you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm inclined to agree on that lol. No problem, and I'm glad we can continue a state of hatelessness between us!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

my new year’s resolution is that you and i maintain our mutual lack of hatred for each other.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Does engaging and explaining such stereotypes count as spreading them?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

This is my first time hearing about that. Many people are extremely stupid, so it makes sense some notion like that would be idiotic racist bullshit that various losers would believe.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 days ago

"be moaning like an anime girl" fucking lost it

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago

Red Rover
Red Rover
Peanut butter trick
for Ben Dover

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

Well, fuck. Not just squick, but full-on nightmare fuel.

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