this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 hours ago

[Scene opens on a wide, desolate savanna at dusk. The camera slowly pans over a leopard lying under a tree, its large body barely able to move. The sun is setting, casting a cold, dim light over the scene. Soft wind rustles through the dry grass. The leopard’s eyes are dull, its breathing labored.]

Narrator (soft, somber voice): In the wild, leopards are meant to stalk, to hunt, to climb. But for some, this is no longer possible. These are the leopards of the forgotten savanna... the ones who can no longer live the life they were born to lead.

[Cut to a close-up of another leopard, this one lying next to a watering hole, panting heavily. The camera lingers on its enormous, bloated body, its paws barely able to reach the ground. The leopard’s eyes seem vacant, devoid of the wild spark they once had.]

Narrator: Overfed and unable to move, these leopards have been left to a slow, painful existence. They can no longer hunt their prey, no longer climb the trees to escape danger, no longer feel the thrill of the chase. They are trapped in their own bodies.

[Cue the soft, mournful opening chords of "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. The camera slowly pans over a third leopard, sluggishly trying to rise, but its massive weight prevents it from standing. It lets out a heavy sigh, its once-strong legs buckling beneath it.]

Narrator: They are the forgotten victims of a world that has abandoned them. Too fat to run, too weak to fight... These leopards are slowly fading, one breath at a time. They need your help.

[Cut to a shot of a leopard staring out over the savanna. The camera lingers on its face, eyes half-closed, its expression one of quiet resignation.]

Narrator: For just $3 a day, you can provide the care and support these leopards so desperately need. A donation will help give them the chance to live a life of dignity. Help them find their way back to the wild they were meant to roam.

[The music swells as the camera fades to black, and the words "Your donation can make a difference" appear in white text on the screen.]

Narrator (whispering): Please, don’t let them suffer in silence. The time to act is now.

[The music fades out, and the SPCA logo appears in the corner, along with a toll-free number and website for donations.]

[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Gee, however long ago could we have foreseen that Trump would have just the worst takes when it comes to first responders and 9/11.

Washington Post: On 9/11, Trump pointed out he now had the tallest building in Lower Manhattan. He didn’t.

Right. Publicly, since literally 9/11.

I guess it must have been too late for them to possibly know, when he already had the shittiest take possible the day it happened, a quarter century ago.

[–] [email protected] 103 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I mean, at least they didn't endorse the felon

Unlike the police union who actually endorsed the felon. Like, what happened to "law and order"? What a joke.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 hours ago

“law and order”

You jest. Murder a bunch of innocent kids in schools - prison. Kill a CEO who headed up a death panel - death penalty.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Law and order has always been a tool to oppress minorities. The people who loudly proclaim to be in favour of it never feel bound by laws themselves.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That's not the whole story, that union extremely rarely endorses any candidate and only endorsed Biden specifically for the funding. Not to mention that this occurred under the Biden presidency.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The legislature creates the budget, not the presidency. And the legislature is controlled by Republicans.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

This was always Jon Stewart’s pet project. I’m sure we’ll hear it from him, though idk what he can do to lobby for it now.