To get started, I will not say what is my work because of privacy reasons, but I'm pretty sure you can easily guess without asking, but what I can say is that got this job by mere luck, but from all the jobs I could possibly get, I get the #1 of all the jobs I hate the most. And sorry if this post is considered some kind of "Gen Z won't want to work" bullshit. I know that a lot of people work in things that they hate, and possibly a lot of things that I would say would sound like immature or like I'm crying baby and I know, the world itself is a shitty place.
The job itself isn't that bad, but the job itself has nothing to do with the things that I like at all, and I don't feel confident doing it, I just don't and can't. I usually get chided because of things that I didn't and to be honest I don't even try to defend myself since my boss is the kind of person that can commit errors, and he would never accept them but if someone else does he just yell at them, and it feels like he feels that he's perfect, and he cannot commit errors.
Since about 6 months ago, they spontaneously assigned me more responsibilities without asking me beforehand, and I have to be responsible for many things that I shouldn't be, but the funny part is that they still pay me as a normal employee. I already had tried to talk to several people in the company about that, but they always told me that they have nothing to do about that and gives me the number of someone who never answer the phone, but here's something curious: When I need to talk to them about that, they refuse changing the subject, but when I do something wrong they rush to call me and tell me about what I do wrong and how much it would cost me, yes, that's right. And if that wasn't toxic enough already, in this kind of work it's supposed that you need teamwork, well... let's just say that my boss get angry if I talk with someone that he doesn't like.
I have a fucking rotating schedule, got 1 off day a week, can't decide when to take my vacations (the company does), they usually just spontaneously change the working schedule and force me to work holidays, they force me to use my own devices for work, such as using my phone to answer calls or to test devices, and I better don't talk about my salary. And if that wasn't enough, the only fucking day that I'm off I got calls from my boss because of those responsibilities assigned to me without my permission... And I have developed a certain panic about my phone because of this, I don't like to be answering the phone on my day off, but I need to keep an eye on it because of these calls. And why I just don't turn off my phone? Because he would scream at me the other day because I didn't answer.
I honestly don't know what to do, I would prefer to not have any work at all than having this job, but I have to pay rent and food and be honest at this point I think I would probably develop some kind of disease from the stress that this work gives me.
And yes, I have spent several months trying to find something better but of course I never got a call, I don't have any experience at all and that's exactly why I'm in this job, because I'm basically cheap labor. I would just like a job where I work with computers, I love Linux and programming, but as far as I can see putting that on my CV without any demonstrable proof is worthless. Since I started this job I've been trying to get into university, but I never have the time or money to do it, and I've been doing courses on Udemy for months, but I'm 4 months into a 70 hours course on Linux and I honestly feel like I will never finish it.
At this point I'm just tired of my life with this work, I lost my peace of mind and I take this job to study and go to something better, but this job is designed to trap you in it and make you unhappy for the rest of your life, I feel bad about this job, I feel treated as lesser and the first moment I complain about something, or I'm can't get to work because I'm sick I am told that ‘I should act like a man and put up with it without complaining so much’. I don't know what to do, I don't want this to my life.
And I would also like to make it clear that it is not only the job that is to blame, but I am also partly to blame for not knowing how to say no. I could do it but I am really afraid of losing my job or going to even a worse job.