Asklemmy

The semaphore homunculus lived in the stop lights at intersections.

In my Superman onesie (w/ cape), I could fly, but was never brave enough to launch from a high enough step on the stairs. I knew I was flying, but...

I thought those crosses or flowers on the side of the road were where they buried the person who died in an accident.

Tigers are female lions.

For a while, I thought kissing was how women got pregnant.

It MIGHT have had something to do with getting a half sibling in spite of my father saying he hadn't had sex with the mother. Religion makes people weird, is it really that big a deal to admit you had sex out of wedlock, when everybody already knows you got someone pregnant?

I believed I was an adopted alien from outer space before I realised my face is like my father's but prettier.

I used to think a car direction indicator was a GPS guiding system, and not manually operated.

That we would live in peace

Can I'll cheat a little and use my teen years.
When let's plays where the new hot thing, I thought a blind let's play literally meant, eyes closed

That tv programming would pause when I turned the TV off.

rice turned water into soil

Cthulhu is a Hindu god

Freddy Krueger was two people. I thought it was like Dr. Frankenstein and his monster. I thought it was Dr. Krueger and Freddy was the monster he created. When I saw the movie I was like where's his creator, the one that brought him to life?

I used to greet clothing store mannequins and thought that people who didn't were very rude.

that you're supposed to show a middle finger as if you were showing it to yourself