this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (3 children)

this is me, doing php and javascript on daily basis.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fun fact, a glass of whisky is a good rubber duck substitute

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Gotta hit that Ballmer peak.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Same here. It's not so bad. It get's really bad when I have to work on older PHP5 projects, though. Or shudder WordPress projects without OOP.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It is a poor craftsman who blames their tools, but I wouldn't be so poor if these tools weren't so shit.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

10 print "hello"
20 goto hell

I'm a bad programmer.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i have this pep talk with myself every time i have to switch languages for a project (especially between python & java) and i can't remember how to do it at first.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

During university I gave additional lessons for lower semesters and at times had to juggle three languages: Java, Typescript and plain JavaScript for that one professor who thought TS sucks.

Coding on the spot got really messy at times.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, but you weren’t the type I thought you were all the time

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The type is dynamic. It can be whatever you wish.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You say : the type is dynamic

We hear : the type is imaginary

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

You didn't need that opening parenthesis in python

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Try lua as a middle ground. It's object based but more classical with the syntax.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

It’s the best scripting language I know of, but man I hate dynamically types languages. I am so used to rust and C/C++ that reading any large script or program will drive me insane

And the whitespace instead of {} tokens…

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The whitespace doesn't bother me at all, but holy hell! Any time I'm trying to understand a Python program/library that's anything above a couple thousand lines of code, I instantly feel a burning hate for dynamic typing.

I love Python for scripting- in large part because of dynamic typing. IMO it's just not a language made for building large infrastructures.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Exactly.

I use it a lot on my systems for very simple scripts because I am significantly more experienced in python compared to bash.

I remember getting given a 10k line python script which “was the documentation” for an API i had to interact with using powershell. I hated life so much because of that stupid project.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I've had the joy of working on a python project with strict type checking enforced in CI and wow is it a different experience. Am a big fan.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

I can handle dynamically typed, but the whitespace thing kills me. I kind of really like PowerShell.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There’s no such thing as bad languages just bad programers anything outside of raw machine code is Just coping for a lack of skill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Machine code? If you can't build a circuit to solve your problem it's a lack of skill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Honestly probably easier than writing in machine code.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm not a bad programmer, nix is just a horrible programming language

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Or maybe it’s the wrong language for the task. Macromedia flash is pretty good for animated websites, an enterprise asset management system, not so much.

My current cross to bear in an app written in Mulesoft because “it’s great with Salesforce” but completely unsuited for bulk data transfers.

Sucks to be stuck with bad choices made before you got there.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I have to bounce around between languages so much I don't really think I'm fluent in anything anymore. I may not be a bad programmer, but some of my programming is bad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There is no good programming language, even including the ones people do not use.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If only haskell devs were writing documentations, instead of going "type sigs is all the documentation you need!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

They moved from python?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Haskell devs like to write code, not maintain it. A bunch of libraries get written, but get abandoned shortly after for something new & shiny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

Clojure is pretty decent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

What's the name of that ancient Java UX again?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Hm, why this sound so familiar :D

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It's just node.js that's why.. you're a deno dude now it's just your company that is still delayed not you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

This is what I tell myself every time I find out the hard way what documented parts of Visual Basic didn't make it into VBScript.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"A bad workman blames his tools."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

We don’t always have the luxury of choosing our tools, and some tools are garbage.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

"A good workman chooses good tools"