this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
502 points (98.8% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 226 points 3 weeks ago (24 children)

Fellas, is it gay for your girlfriend to touch your dick?

[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 weeks ago

Yes. The only way to make it less gay is to touch your girlfriend's dick.

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[–] [email protected] 160 points 3 weeks ago (21 children)

Totally uncomfortable with the existence of their own dick, plus dating a girl. Quick maths, anon is a lesbian.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago

Fake and transpilled

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

Fake and gay

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fellas, is it gay for a girl to like dick?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago

absolutely only men should like dick that's why I put balls on my truck

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Well it involves dick so it's gay in my book.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Anon has a girlfriend? Gay.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

And also fake.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

18m? Anon must be good at basketball.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago

It's his age, idiot. Anon is eighteen minutes old.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

And here we have in Jersey #43... OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!? SOME SORT OF DISGUSTING COSMIC HORROR! MY EYES!... MY EYES!"

"Right you are John, and what rebound game he has. Really a stand out this season for them for sure."

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 weeks ago

No wayyy that's why my girl does this, I learned about sex from 4chan, kill me.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Fake: Anon has a GF

Gay: Anon is very gay

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's an interesting narrators switch I can see here

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

What is this gf anon is talking about? I thought they are mythical.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I remeber one of the first dates I took a girl on she did this at the drive in. I was like ayy yoo lmao.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Same the other way around.

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