this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 131 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.

"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.

Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Pairs well with a choking fetish

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not jealous. You are!

[–] [email protected] 78 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

He removed the ribs so he could eat them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So you’re saying I’d need to remove 4-5 ribs?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (14 children)

I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Shhh. It reveals our age.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

This shit ain't nothing to me man

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)

Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.

[–] [email protected] 106 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You shouldn't get your dog to suck your dick, no matter how flexible the dog is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, they can't make a vacuum due to their mouth shape, so it's just going to be sloppy with a large risk of puncture. Totally not worth it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like a win-win in my book.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Yes. I know peeps and it’s apparently awesome.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you remove your dog’s balls though? That might have an effect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I have tried before whether I could do it, the answer was no, and I don't feel I am missing out on anything.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Back, not neck.

... I'm told.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dude probably thought he was a h0rs3 character.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I've had a couple tenga's but I feel like these are meant to be disposable. Never a flip though, kind of pricey.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

some people treat all sexual objects as disposable. protect your heart.

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