The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Loose_Blackberry1638 on 2024-10-12 15:23:57.
I (17f) have four siblings. Eldest is my half sister (19) and younger siblings are my full brothers (14 and 12). Mom is my half sister's stepmom. Dad was married before. His first wife died because of a rupture during the delivery. They saved my half sister, but couldn't save her mom. Six months later my parents met and 8 months after that they were married.
My mom and half sister always had a pretty okay relationship. She never called her mom or another mom-like title. She always used mom's first name. When she says mom she means her mom who died. She has a really close relationship with her mom's side of the family. She'd go to see them a lot and was kept very much a part of their family. I remember her loving that time when we were younger and begging for more. My parents believe that her mom's family might have been a big reason why she never called mom 'mom' and why she wasn't super close to me or my brothers. My half sister always made the half and step distinction and that confused a lot of people. Some extended family members would make a point to tell her mom was raising her. But she always said mom was her stepmom not her mom.
Things got more clear 2/3 years ago. My half sister made it so clear she doesn't consider mom one of her actual parents. She was interviewed for the school newsletter because she was captain of one of our school teams and when asked about her parents she talked a lot about dad, mentioned her mom a few times but never mentioned my mom. She gave dad the credit for raising her. Not my mom at all. She also did a personal essay on what it's like growing up without a mom. Then when she graduated she only listed dad under her parents. She didn't list mom at all and when asked she said she didn't list mom because she would never mention her and not her mom. But they had a rule about not listing parents who died several years ago... or something.
My half sister is in college now and she doesn't live with us anymore. Since she moved out she spends more time with her maternal family and while she hasn't gone no contact, really makes more of an effort with dad than the rest of us, even mom. This upset mom. She feels like she was discarded and like the maternal family have helped push her out. A few days ago she suggested I could bring up the distance to my half sister. I told her I don't want to get involved. Mom asked if it didn't bother me. I told her I think she deserves more recognition but I'm not close to my half sister so getting involved just seems like it's drama and it's not like she cares what I think. I also told her I don't know what it's like from my half's sister's POV so it feels wrong. So I won't interfere.
My dad told me I could have handled that talk with mom better and should have shown more sensitivity.
AITA?