A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I sleep like a log. My wife can almost never get me up at night. Once, she heard a noise and tried to shake me awake. "I think there's someone in the kitchen."
I just said "he'll be fine" and snored on ๐ ill be fuckin worthless if someone breaks in
I was drunk and tired from a late event at 2am.
I had a cabin rental with three other people who were dead asleep.
It was at that moment that the back door WOULD NOT LOCK.
I had a serious moment of panic. After about 15 minutes of spiraling (and another shot of whiskey), I decided to block off the door with a bunch of chairs.
If a ax murderer did come by, surely a locked door wouldn't have stopped them either.
Fortunately, we made it to the morning.
This is no different from living with cats tbh
Reads like some LinkedIn posts I've seen.
A spider bit my toe right as I was falling asleep. Decided I would deal with it in the morning.
Fortunately that was the case.