this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey's Paw! No strings attached*.

(*) Satisfaction not guaranteed. Wish may backfire unexpectedly.

Just create a post that starts with "I wish ___" and wait for other users to write how your wish didn't turn out how you expected.

If you're feeling inspired, you may even use the wish as a sort of writing prompt.

Example:

Title: I wish for more wishes.

Answer: Granted. A piece of paper the size of a business card appears in your hand with 4 dotted lines for you to fill out your wishes and a little checkbox in front of each. Now to find someone who will grant those...

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Granted, you could be.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Granted. You are now Jerry Garcia, and you died in 1995.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Same joke but with Jimmy Hendrix

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Granted, you can pluck out Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on your guitar now. Everyone else in the world no longer has any interest in music. No instruments are played, and you are considered an anomaly to be shunned.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Granted, you're the best player on Wonderwall. Any other song you play sounds like garbage.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Granted, your skill level doesn't change, everyone else in the world just becomes a worse guitar player than you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I know these are all fun writing prompts but this feels like the right answer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Granted, everyone in the world dies from an unknown disease and you're the only person alive.