this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 month ago (1 children)

well, that shouldnt have been a surprising find. we've already had millions of examples of people talking out of their arses over the years.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

We must credit the great thinker, Ace Ventura for giving us an insight into the talking anus

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a saying amongst us ass breathers in regards to all you nose breathing assholes: "they hate us because they anus."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Heh, you said anus

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There was a related podcast recently somewhere, the idea was that evolutionary lungs come from guts, so maybe guts would still have some ability to absorb oxygen, which, turns out, they indeed do. This could have some practical uses e.g. in intensive care situations where the patient's lung is useless (extreme COVID), which could give a last resort breathing opportunity while the lungs heal to a usable condition. Furthermore it gives a shitton of opportunity for butt jokes

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Exactly how would carbon dioxide get exchanged if the lungs are damaged?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Well farts aren't just methane

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you can breathe through the butt as you can through your mouth, can you eat with your butt as well?

Was South Park right and you can put a turkey up your ass and digest it?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Legitimately, the colon, including the part immediately after the anus, is very capable of absorption of chemicals, there are some medicines other than suppositories that are sometimes given that way if needed. And the small amount of mucous it naturally produces through normal function is also capable of dissolving solid particulates for said absorption to work.

But(t), I don't think there would be any means for caloric intake to happen, even if the Turkey eventually was dissolved. I could very well be wrong though, I am talking out of my very own ass somewhat!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

If you put it through a blender first. I believe you could

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

People will stick anything up their ass these days, and these guys get the fucking Nobel Prize?!

I feel betrayed ☹️

[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

the fucking Nobel Prize?!

No, the Ig Nobel Prize:

The Ig Nobel Prize monetary award is given in a solitary banknote for the amount of 100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars ($0.40 USD)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

It is a prize for serious science, just serious science that also happens to be funny

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i'm a bit disappointed that it's not like 10 bucks at least, like haha funny yes, but come on you can give them an actual reward for actual science

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The actual worth of the prize could be the publicity, to stand out and be recognizer as a scientist in a flood of publications. I'm just guessing.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's actually really valuable. It can be a great alternative to a tracheotomy.

I don't know if this is in practice yet, but I've heard of it in recent years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, yes. But I meant for medical purposes, not judicial.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I thought you mean recreational

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What a job to research Butt Stuff

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They're looking for a way to save the live of people in respiratory distress, such as intensive care patient with Covid19 and damaged lungs.

Doctors and biology researchers need to move passed the ick factor sometimes to make progress. Joking about it is a good way to do that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

that's how i win at breath holding contests

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Wait till they add the prostate exam to checking vital signs

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Core body temperature is a vital sign. Guess the most clinically accurate way to measure that one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not by prostate exam, that's for sure.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Close. It's known as rectal temperature

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, I know. It's not a prostate exam.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The net result is similar, though

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The net result of a prostate exam is that you get a boner. Temp measuring is just sticking an item in your butthole. Two different diagnostic things

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Speak for yourself ;p

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I don't wanna wait.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Not really a prostrate exam but one of the first things trauma docs do is cut the pants off and put a finger up the bum to test spinal function

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Sure, but how bad is their breath?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ace Ventura knew this 20 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Scientists who Discovered Mammals Can Breathe Through Their Anuses; Receive Ig Nobel Prize