this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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Curated Tumblr

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A femur? That depends, is it your femur? Or is it a femur you acquired?

In the former, you may be eligible for a lifetime of less-than-poverty wages, for free from a thing called "dys ahh bill eee tee"...

If it's the latter, you can get an all expenses paid trip to the local penetentary! Where you will be given free food, clothing and shelter, possibly for years!

Either way, you may not have to work, ever again... Or maybe you just won't be able to! Who knows!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But what if it's not a human femur. Like say a goat femur.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

We're going to need a pricing table here for that. Let me ask Haskill for that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

My brother once slept in with his head under his pillow. He got much for his skull but at what cost...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And does it have to be my femur?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nope! It's doesn't even have to be human.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

brb i have a haul to take from my nearest butcher shop

the bone fairy will be pleased and my bedsheets will smell of rotting flesh

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mom got angry when I kept putting chicken bones under my pillow each night. "Don't incur the wrath of the bone fairy!" she warned!

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

In my experience, the answer to this is nearly always "everyone involved in the situation, except for you."

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Personaly, I prefer the boner fairy

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait till you put it under your couch cushion ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

You have discovered the true identity of the sofa king