Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
Glory hole 1: The glory hole below me is not a mimic.
Glory hole 2: The mimic uses bold text.
Glory hole 3: The mimic has an even number.
Glory hole 4: I am not a mimic.
Glory hole 5: The mimic has an odd number.
Choose wisely. There is one mimic who lies.
answer
Glory Hole 3 is the lying mimic. However, while there is one mimic who lies, there is also the possibility that the remaining glory holes are honest mimics.
It's a trick. They're all mimics.
My kind of glory holes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I want to point out that the player would need to identify it as a glory hole and not just a peephole or something. They would also need to think it's a normal thing to find in the world and not something out of place. They would also need to be comfortable enough with the other players to engage in sexual roleplay with a wall. And in this case, you have clearly created a very perverse game world for your players.
The alternative is you just deciding to tell your players "you see a hole in a wall that you think could be a glory hole. ...Anything you wanna do about that?" to which most players would either ignore it or check the hole for traps before ignoring it.
In short, I don't think the problem is the BARD being horny here.
What if the dm words it like: "you appear to be in a privy. You notice a hole in the wall."?
I've already put more thought into this than I'm comfortable with.
That only clears the first hurdle. It only lets the player recognise it as a gloryhole. But if you were to give someone a fleshlight in a public place, do you honestly expect them to use it right there? Or to even accept the fleshlight? Same applies with a gloryhole in a ttrpg. Even were they inclined, there are other people there.
And if everyone there is down for it, you're now the asshole ruining everyone's fun by putting chili in the fleshlight.
The DM clearly had a fantasy of the bard engaging in some perverted act, then thought of a way to punish the bard for the DM's fantasies, and is now presenting it before the table and thinking it makes the bard look bad.
To be fair, what if the bard is like, "I try putting my dick in it" at every session? Even if the group is generally okay with explicit roleplay, it could eventually get a bit old, and the DM could simply be trying to reduce the frequency of the dick jokes in a creative way.
Not a dude
But
what stats do dicks impact? -4 STR isn't a thing anymore so a mimic that chomps me johnson has no impact on min/maxing, and is therefore irrelevant.
You take a penalty to all charisma rolls because there is now a chance you accidentally let out some pee at any given point.