Lavenderism

Once upon a time, the god of the moon focused his attention on a man that was swimming in a lake at the edge of the world. The moon’s energy turned the man pale with white hair, and he became the first magician in the entire world. His third eye opened and he was able to see spirits and ghosts, but not all of them were good. He was visited by octopus spirits, peacocks, parakeets, baboons and the ghost of Joseph Stalin. The spirit guides gave him a sense of peace and also a connection to spirituality, but he was also trolled by evil spirits and ghosts, who played mean tricks on him and caused him to behave in ways that were illogical and went against his best interests. He eventually fell from the lake off of a waterfall and began falling into space, and then he talked to the cat goddess, dogs, and other animals such as axolotls which gave him a book of sacred information. He could not read as letters were not invented yet, and so he tore the pages from the book and ate them. They tasted like frosting which caused him to quickly devour the entire sacred book, and this caused all of humanity to have a connection to the teachings of spirituality. However, the magician’s mental imbalance caused people to behave in strange and erratic ways, so spirituality came with mental illness and lunacy.