this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
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Everything ZFS

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ZFS is an opensource COW filesystem used by enterprise and serious homelabbers for it's data safety and extensive feature set.

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I wanted to share with y’all a new file system project I’ve been working on: speZFS

speZFS is based on the principle that your data doesn’t actually belong to you—and you should learn to like it that way. At every possible turn, speZFS goes out of its way to show contempt for the user, including such features as:

Data reliability: With speZFS, “integrity” is a dirty word, so we use the term “reliability” instead. What that actually means is that your data is likely to be silently edited on disk, with no notice given to the user that this has occurred. Should this reliability feature be noticed by the user, speZFS responds by raising EXCEPTION_OOPSSORRYLOL and continuing as if nothing ever happened.

Advanced file permissions: No longer are files exclusively available to the “landed gentry” just because they happened to create them. Any user who refuses to allow global access to their files will find their access revoked, and new file owners instated.

Introspection protection: This cutting-edge feature actively prevents users from finding out what the hell is actually going on, by providing misleading information to debugging tools, filesystem analyzers, decompilers, and so on. In essence, any attempt to “ask” speZFS what it’s doing or why will be met with useless stock answers, insults, and/or outright threats.

Dedicated suite of file access tools: speZFS comes with a set of tools designed specifically use with it. These include spezfs-ls (injects advertisements into the file listing), spezfs-rm (only allows you to remove a single file at a time, which is subject to being arbitrarily restored later), spezfs-cp (claims ownership of your copied files, and sells access to them for use in AI training models), and spezfs-find (does nothing). Want to use your own tools? No problem! Access to so-called “third-party” filesystem tools will be allowed free for one month after installation, and thereafter at the bargain price of $0.24 per 10,000 file accesses.

My hope is that you find speZFS to be a useful, well-designed, and overall great filesystem… and if not, who the hell cares what you think anyway?

Credit: https://www.reddit.com/r/zfs/comments/14gh8ud/announcing_a_new_file_system_spezfs/

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

This is quality shitpost had a good laugh there!