Trans

And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like "how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable" and so on.

You have spent literally your entire life, drowned in anti trans messaging. And somehow, here you are, telling the world who you are anyway. That's not the experience of an imposter. That's the experience of a trans person trying to deal with a lifetime of negative indoctrination. Even when we recognise it for what it is, it still impacts us, because that's how indoctrination works.

It's going to take time to work through all of this, and undo some of that damage. Give yourself permission to work through it. It might be two steps forward, one step back, but you'll get there :)

So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?

One day, you'll realise that you haven't thought about it for days. Thats when you'll know it's clicked :)

It took me a long time to be comfortable with it. I had mad imposter syndrome, feeling like I didn't "deserve" to be called it somehow. Plus I'd panic a little if someone used it in public because I was afraid of negative attention.

I'm more secure in my identity now, and its to the point now that if someone does call me my deadname (usually its some medical person of fucking course) it takes me a little to even register they're addressing me. It does get better and you're not alone in your experience 🩷