this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2024
251 points (91.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 152 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Don't lie to your wife. Just say the truth, if she can't handle it then you picked the wrong person to get married to.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Given the greentext origin, I wonder if his wife was the first woman to give him the time of day and the dynamics of their relationship consist of him fearing that she might leave and he’ll revert to incelhood

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

man has issue with woman therefore he's an incel

Bruh why is this always the go to?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It's 4chan, so...

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (4 children)

For small groups? 30 people (over 8 of whom are children) in a residential pool sounds absolutely gross even if it's not my pool and I'm not cleaning it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

At that point it's an open sky toilet.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The story mentions one in diapers but the other part speaks about kids far more active (so older) than toddlers.

You may not have kids, so just to let you know: they usually don't just piss in pools anymore as soon as they're out of diapers which usually is at 2 or 3 years old.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Bruh, adults still piss in pools.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Some maybe do so in public pools. But if your adult guests piss in your pool, you should rethink your guest list.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I'm gonna come piss in this dude's pool

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean my house isn’t designed for 30 people and 10 children, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t put my panties on and clean the house before an after a get together to build relationships.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hm, didn't know my comment mentioned that I wouldn't clean my house before a party. It's almost as if you're trying to imply I said something I didn't so that my comment appears unreasonable.

I will say it again: 30 people in a residential pool (described as small in the post) is disgusting. It has nothing to do with the house, the backyard, the barbecue, the pets, the grass, the carpet, etc. It has nothing to do with anything except the pool and its capacity.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Right? To each their own, but if I had a pool, I'd be inviting friends and family over to enjoy it all the time. I bet those kids had a blast and made some fun memories.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Anon has ocd

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Tbh, I think I get it. Some people really get off on maintaining something in pristine condition. This is like an extremely expensive Bonsai tree or rock garden.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Same reason my wife wants at least 80m² of living space despite spending her time sitting on the corner of one chair looking at her phone : it feels nice to know you have it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

80m² = 860ft² for those of us in countries who perpetuate inferior measurement systems.

860ft² is extremely small compared to the average American home of 2,480ft².

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Oh yeah, for reference it's a moderately sized flat for a family of four in a French city.
My dad has more of a country house with the huge park and trees and small lake... and still she only really needs her phone and a chair. Go figure.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

On the internet, nobody knows that you're a pool drain.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

on 4chan

has a pool

hosts a party

Im sure this one is true

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

You forgot "has wife" 😁

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No nappies in the pool is a reasonable rule. Lying to your wife is unreasonable. Also if you're a grown adult with an able body you should be able to defend your face from children. The key is to be gentle but firm. Children thrive on well established and reasonable boundaries.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

They’re on 4chan for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

"why aren't you socializing, anon".

Because you go on 4chan.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Did you poop in the bath tub after the other kids bully you sweet ums