Not The Onion

12272 readers

1902 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

This inmate says rat gave birth in his pants- but no suprise (www.cbc.ca)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

5 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick says early one morning in mid-May he woke up and felt something moving in the crotch of his pants. When he reached in, he discovered a rat had given birth there.

all 6 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There are royal prisons? Even with the head of state I would have thought they would drop the “her majesty’s” from stuff like jail/prison.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Odd to me is Her Majesty's instead of His, considering Charles is now King.

Do these places just retain the gender of the ruling monarch at the time of their construction?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Unless… just hear me out… they lock him up…

(‘Him’ being Old Sausage Fingers,)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick says early one morning in mid-May Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick woke up and felt something moving in Her Majesty's Penitentiary's crotch of Her Majesty's Penitentiary's pants. When he reached in, he discovered Her Majesty's Penitentiary's rat had given birth there.

FTFT.

If they want to make it clear how thoroughly Her Majesty's (or whatever mutant inbred blue-blooded critter they've got on the throne now) ownership of this person is, I say they shouldn't be allowed to stop half-way.