Asklemmy

"WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

MEDIC!

THE CAKE IS A LIE!

CANNOT BELIEVE THIS ISNT ALREADY HERE, IM CRESTFALLEN!

I'M COMMANDER SHEPARD, AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORE ON THE CITADEL.

SNAKE. SNAKE? SNAAAAAAKE!

ROCK AND STONE!

NOTHING'S MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!!!!

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS

SHAWN!!!!

DO YOU GET TO THE CLOUD DISTRICT VERY OFTEN?? OH, WHAT AM I SAYING, OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!

I’M ESCAPING TO THE ONE PLACE THAT HASN’T BEEN CORRUPTED BY CAPITALISM... SPACE!

YOU EUTHANIZED YOUR FAITHFUL COMPANION CUBE FASTER THAN ANY TEST SUBJECT ON RECORD. CONGRATULATIONS.

LETS DO THIS! LEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS!!!!

I’LL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!

"HMMMMHHMMMM" FROM MINECRAFT VILLAGERS

DO A BARREL ROLL!!

THE RIGHT MAN IN THE WRONG PLACE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD

YOU NEED TO CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

WOLOLO

FINISH HIM!

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

WOULD YOU KINDLY

THEY SET US UP THE BOMB

WHAT IS A MAN? A MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK - HAVE AT YOU!

RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE

WELL, THIS IS THE PART WHERE HE KILLS US.

...

HELLO! THIS IS THE PART WHERE I KILL YOU!

I'M HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM, AND I'M ALL OUTTA GUM!

I'M TORGUE, AND I AM HERE TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION, AND ONE QUESTION ONLY: EXPLOSIONS!?

OUR WORDS ARE BACKED BY NUCLEAR WEAPONS

LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY.

SIGH, BAPANADA.

THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20-KILO FERROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT. EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE TO 1.3 PERCENT OF LIGHT SPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE OF A 38-KILOTOMB BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH.THAT MEANS SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE.

FRAMESHIFT DRIVE CHARGING

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS

ZUG ZUG

LOOK, WE'VE BOTH SAID THINGS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET.

TURIANS BASED ON DEXTRO-AMINO ACIDS. HUMAN INGESTION OF TISSUE COULD PROVOKE ALLERGIC REACTIONS. ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK POSSIBLE. SO DON'T, AH, INGEST.