this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
23 points (82.9% liked)

/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

357 readers
1 users here now

A community for venting about your life, good or bad

Rules:

Please follow site rules.

Posts must be about venting, Posts not matching a vent will be removed.

Posts must be longer then clear, understandable and elaborated in the post body.

Be kind to other users

Trolling is not allowed.

No Hate speech, Slurs, Slander, Bullying, Harassments or Arguments.

NSFW/NSFL posts must be tagged with a NSFW tag

No posts talking about planing/committing/threatening your suicide, self-harm or other forms of self-injury.

No begging/asking for charity

No minors in NSFW threads/NSFW threads with minors involved

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

People say lemmy isnt as toxic as reddit and while i feel thats partially true i also feel its partially not

if you have the best of intentions but the group or user circles dont think so then you are turned away

I recently shared a video in a post that in my opinion contains feedback that could be beneficial to open source, met with mostly hostility on that post when i only wanted to share that video to help open source

and then there is the toxicity of some groups on lemmy, im left wing because i think everyone should be equal and the world should be free from bigotry and intolerance but some of the left wing comments on lemmy read as toxic and i feel like I'm a person who wants better in the world but I'm excluded from other left wing people because of the toxicity

it makes me feel i have the be careful on lemmy with what i say and cant give good intentioned feedback or criticism to other users because it'll just be met with hostility if the group / user circle/s doesn't like it or be misinterpreted as an attack

all of that can feel very unwelcoming me at times

sorry if this doesn't come across as clear, its just that i suck at writing "high quality posts / comments" and i wanted to get emotion to text and vent

top 13 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

You dont want to see what these people do to linux critics... I still see their faces....

For real though the platform has a lot of growing to do before it can start to represent a wider range of opinions, right now it's mostly dominated by early adopters and all the bagage those kind of people bring.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Think of it this way…a lot of these people were kicked off Reddit…for a reason

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Just wanted to put this to you - anyone can join here and say anything. You don't need to be educated on a topic, finish school or be mentally stable to put your opinion here and call it fact.

Don't put any weight on anyone you won't trust with the rest of your life.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Welcome to Costco.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

A bit yes, a bit no.

Part of it is just being on the anonymous internet, doesn't matter if it's here on Lemmy, Reddit or what have you. You're going to have some toxicity, flamebait, trolling, highly upvoted groupthink and the like. Especially as many people are here to begin with opinions and lean strongly and be charged one way or another.

Without thick skin it can be hard to deal with and feel unwelcoming and I agree with you there.

Where I see Lemmy differentiate itself is that many of the unpopular (but not rulebreaking) opinions are not hidden/deleted automatically, many are debated despite receiving double digit downvotes. On Reddit it's been very rarely, feels like once a year when I've seen pairs or groups of users originally in disagreement come to a mutual understanding on something. On Lemmy threads it's been several times more frequent despite the smaller size.

Another thing to highlight: When a comment is deleted, there's a evidence trail using the modlogs rather than the opaque moderation of other platforms. I won't name examples but in most cases it's generally clear from the outside when something is deleted due to being genuinely toxic vs. being against certain instances' values.

The experience is what you make of it. Spread positivity online if that's what you want to see more of.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Lemmy can feel unwelcoming at times

NO IT CAN’T

Hey buddy, jokes aside, sending good welcoming vibes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Eh, it depends on the community, imo.

For the most part, that comes down to a combination of moderation and the user base of a given community. There is also the instance factor, but other than a small handful of those intended to be used by people that are generally going to be a problem anywhere, it isn't as big a factor as the community itself.

But you mentioned what are some very insular populations. Open source devotees are in a constant struggle with the majority of the human race that just want cool shit that works.

And "left wing" is a mixed bag because not everyone uses the term the same way. In a broader sense, left wing doesn't have a direct and guaranteed link to human rights and personal liberty. Left wing is, on a wider scale, just code for socialists. So, what could be called a liberal in the US is going to have a rough time in those spaces since there are strongly militant sections of the socialist community, and they tend to be pretty authoritarian. Hell, the term liberal simply doesn't mean the same thing to most socialists as it does in the US.

Believe me, there's a reason I avoid socialist communities online despite agreeing with socialism enough to call myself one on most matters. I'm pretty damn far left tbh, and there's still a lot of assholes that I can't put up with.

But, luckily, lemmy has a block feature. And, in the communities with good moderation, reporting bad behavior can end up helping things stay on the civil side overall.

But, critique is always risky. It's risky in real life, but doubly so online. If you're gong to indulge in it, you gotta put on your grown up hat and accept hostile responses as par for the course. Criticism is an attack, no matter how well intentioned, or how gently put, if it wasn't asked for in the first place. Now, if someone asks for critique, and gets hostile, that's on them because everyone knows that people are bad at giving gentle criticism. We, as a species, just suck at it. Seriously, think about it. Examine what you thought and felt while reading that, if you didn't stop reading before this lol. I could almost bet money that there were sections where you had an emotional response.

Anyway, wall of text over.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It always blows my mind when people don't realize that public forums are largely representative of...the public.

"Group think" is just an excuse for "I can't admit my thoughts about (x) are wrong / idiotic/ insulting.

Conservatives usually parrot this when claiming how "liberal" reddit is. That's how you can usually tell the loonies.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It always blows my mind when people don’t realize that public forums are largely representative of…the public.

Yeah i guess it's representative of its toxicity

I want the equality of everyone to be taken seriously and not have groups be excluded in the name of equality and i want the world free of bigotry, intolerance and those who preach intolerance but the toxicity of some of the lemmy comments i have seen feels highly exclusionary and hostile

lemmy users seem to mostly go after and attack groups of people rather than working with those groups to weed out and get rid of the bad actors, its just straight to attacking entire groups and creating a toxic unwelcoming atmosphere and to clarify I'm not talking about groups that are inherently evil like conservatives or genocidal groups

We're all humans and all humans deserve the right to equality and a world without bigotry and intolerance, yet the toxicity I've seem on lemmy seems to go against that

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Any place that has large dedicated fan bases can come off toxic. Open source, Linux and politicd aren't any different. There will always be those that feel you aren't the "right kind" of fan etc. Just do your best to be introspective and understanding. It's the best any of us can often do.

It's definitely a shock for example to slip from the shallow pool of "left" in western, especially American politics. Into a system originally started by leninists/stalinists. And I've seen plenty of toxicity to non conforming lefties from that group. Though to be fair, as an anti authoritarian lefty. I know I have issues when dealing with authoritarians. Including leninists /stalinists. Which I'm trying to moderate. Seeing as many of them are very young naive and impressionable. As well as much less likely to listen when someone is hostile.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

im not on lemmy but you likely are interacting with the whole fediverse. the fediverse itself is onthe internet and be reflective of that. Personally I used to play mmos and the chat on that gave me a good example. mmo chat is a horrible cesspool, but generally only because of a minority of players. Once you block enough the chat becomes pleasant. In addition subscribe to what you like and remember the same subject can be on multiple domains so if the crowd is not great in one you can always unsubscribe and subscribe to one of the others. I subscribe to any I find on a subject and unsubscribe is one is making me feel uncomfortable. Treat it like the real world. If you hang out someplace and don't feel happy then you generally go hang out someplace else. Im not saying to leave lemmy im saying use the tools at hand. I hope the tools for user empowerment increase as the federation matures. I know for lemmy I can block domains but it does not seem to do anything but I prefer that work to my instance not federating with things personally.